Yates lived by rigid schedule, according to husband
Posted on 03/01/2002 1:45:51 AM PST by MeekOneGOP
Yates lived by rigid schedule, according to husband
Husband also testifies she was allowed 3 hours a week without her kids
03/01/2002
HOUSTON - Russell "Rusty" Yates told jurors Thursday about how his wife, Andrea, lived by a rigid schedule as housekeeper and teacher and was allowed three hours each week to do whatever she wanted, alone, without her children.
"Man's the breadwinner and the woman's the homemaker," Mr. Yates said Thursday during Mrs. Yates' capital murder trial. Mrs. Yates pleaded insanity after admitting that she drowned her five children in June.
While he talked proudly of the couple's decision to toe a higher ethical line based on biblical teachings and lessons gleaned from a conservative newsletter called "Perilous Times," Mr. Yates coincidentally painted a picture for jurors of a bleak life bereft of any outlet for Mrs. Yates besides her children.
AP "A scared animal" is how Debbie Holmes testified that her friend Andrea Yates behaved in the days before she killed her children. |
Mr. Yates, 37, told the jury that he and his wife agreed before their wedding in 1993 to a "traditional" marriage in which he would serve as sole breadwinner and she would be homemaker.
The pact included being a stay-at-home mother, primary caregiver and, eventually, home-school teacher. Mr. Yates said that he controlled the cash and that she stuck carefully to an allowance.
Therapist Earline Wilcott, who met with Mrs. Yates after her suicide attempts, testified that her client felt overwhelmed and trapped.
Ms. Wilcott said Mrs. Yates felt criticized for the way she ran the household. Ms. Wilcott said Mrs. Yates told her that her husband bought her a book on how to get organized.
When pressure from raising their children appeared to be getting to Mrs. Yates, she could always look forward to Thursdays. Mr. Yates testified that for three hours once each week from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Mrs. Yates could do whatever she wanted, alone, without the children.
The free time was to provide some relief for his wife, Mr. Yates said. "I guess that's what we decided," he said.
Mrs. Yates is a diagnosed schizophrenic predisposed to pitch-black depressions that followed the births of her last two children. Testimony has shown that the 37-year-old registered nurse with perfectionist tendencies and a solid Christian faith went along with the home management plan she and Mr. Yates hammered out before marriage.
During a second day of testimony, this time during questioning by Harris County prosecutor Joe Owmby, Mr. Yates, a NASA engineer, said he and Mrs. Yates agreed before marrying that she would give up her job at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center at Houston.
"We thought it best that Andrea be home," Mr. Yates testified.
Prosecutors say Mrs. Yates was fully aware of what she was doing when she drowned Noah, 7; John, 5; Paul, 3; Luke, 2; and 6-month-old Mary in the family bathtub.
Mrs. Yates' trial, which began Feb. 18, is expected to go through next week. She faces life in prison or lethal injection if convicted.
During questioning, Mr. Yates said his wife was quiet and remarkably modest. After they were married, Mrs. Yates wouldn't undress in front of her husband. "That's a pretty personal question, but generally that's true. She's shy," he testified.
While Mr. Yates found time for interests such as biking to work, joining a gym and working in the garage, Mrs. Yates had the children and home-schooling to keep up with.
Their life also included some unusual experiments and choices.
Almost as soon as their first home was built, they rented it out, trading it for a 38-foot trailer to live a "simpler life."
"I think a lot of it was that Andrea was generally happy in the house, I probably wasn't as happy in the house," he said.
After being married 41/2 years, with three young children and another on the way, they sold the trailer for a $37,000 converted Greyhound bus.
"I didn't view it as a hardship," Mr. Yates said. "We like it better than a house."
After the 1999 birth of their fourth child, Luke, the close quarters appeared to get to her. She summoned her husband home one day. He found her sobbing and shaking in the back of the bus.
The next day, she took an overdose. Less than a month later, she held a knife to her throat.
Mr. Yates told jurors how he faithfully drove his wife to therapy after her two suicide attempts.
He also told jurors that his wife opted for natural childbirth.
Although he conceded that the newsletter he and his wife read advocated natural childbirth for a "humbling experience for a woman," Mr. Yates said it was his wife's idea to go without local anesthetic.
"It was her choice," he said. "Sometimes Andrea liked to take the hard road instead of an easy road."
Despite warnings from at least one psychiatrist who said having more children would bring Mrs. Yates a harsher version of the depression that sent her to try to kill herself, they had a fifth child on Nov. 30, 2000.
They knew that Haldol pulled her out of the depths in 1999, after the birth of Luke. When Mrs. Yates faltered again, particularly after her father died in March 2001, they asked for the drug again.
"I knew she was sick," Mr. Yates said. "She wouldn't have tried to commit suicide if she hadn't been sick."
Four days before she drowned her children, Mrs. Yates awoke screaming that she was trapped. As her husband comforted her, she told him about her nightmare. "Something about in her dream she was trapped in her bed," Mr. Yates said.
"A scared animal" is how Debbie Holmes later testified that Mrs. Yates behaved in the days before she killed her children. The women met about 16 years ago at M.D. Anderson.
Mrs. Holmes said Mrs. Yates spoke only three complete sentences to her in the four months before the children died. Her hair greasy and matted, her body reeking, Mrs. Yates was a walking zombie then, Mrs. Holmes said.
"I was appalled," said Mrs. Holmes. "She looked like a cancer patient." When she heard that the children were drowned, a teary Mrs. Holmes said she collapsed.
"I fell on the floor, and I just cried," Mrs. Holmes said. "I was screaming. It can't be my Andrea."
I don't know which men you're talking about but speaking for myself I insist that this is FAR too simplistic a point of view.
My mother had NINE CHILDREN. She complained for YEARS about various ailments, and everyone thought she was nuts.
Well, she wasn't 'nuts' as it turned out, she had Fibromyalgia.
So, nine kids and varicose veins and Fibromyalgia. Did that mean my father--in reality my step-father--was "abusing" or "oppressing" her?
No. My mother ALWAYS did what she wanted. SHE was the one who wanted all the kids. She thought that is what the Lord expected of her, and my step-father supported her in that.
For myself, I don't think it was necessarily the best thing, but on the other hand, not sure which one should have been given back (I was the oldest, so I didn't have to worry on that account).
IOW, there is FAR, FAR too much "assuming" going on here, about what Andrea Yates thought, about what her husband thought, etc.
No one can know.
This is a DEEP, DEEP tragedy, but my only consistent assertion is that it is just plain IGNORANT to make claims like "Russell Yates was just as guilty," blahblahblah.
In the first place, it shows and ignorance of the law. In the second place it shows an inappropriate willingness to substitute simplistic, emotion-laced arguments for a recognition that we CANNOT know the truth, and that ultimately those who will have all the facts that it is possible to determine give the fait accompli, are going to rule BASED on the cold, hard logic of the law.
We may not see it that way, but that's the way it's going to be.
For myself, from just what little I know given the daily news reports from the trial here in Houston, I think Andrea Yates was insane at the time of the murders, and will be put away for the rest of her life.
Based on what I know, that appears to be the just thing.
But one thing I do believe: Russell Yates' life has been destroyed. Whether you think he brought it upon himself or not, there is no fate you could possibly dream up that will cause him any more torment or anguish than what is already laid out for him.
But again, those are my BELIEFS, based on what little I know. I am not so crass and so supremely arrogant as to think that I can really know all the ramifications for justice in this matter.
For that, I thank my God that it is in His hands.
No one, that I remember said that! What has been said, repeatedly, is that difficult situations can exacerbate the mental illness. Look it up. It's true. I'm sane, or so I've been told, and I would go nuts living in a bus with small kids. It might sound terribly romantic to some, and I actually admire a missionary who did this, but his wife didn't have problems coping with everyday life.
I've just been appalled at the people who want her to die.
Didn't the husband notice this? Didn't he think this was unusual? Or did she manage to clean up before he got home? I think the husband was in denial, especially about her capabilty of hurting the children. Why didn't he consult some of the doctors where she used to work? I don't know, but this guy seems like a dunce to me - I don't think he was paying much attention to his wife.
Please do tell us how he should have been more strict with his wife.
There is nothing to indicate that he was actually abusive. IMO, and only my opinion, he just had certain views of family life that were not very compatible with mental illness, and downright unsupportive of a mentally ill person. Obviously, nothing is compatible with mental illness. Some things just might make it worse, though.
I went through something a little similar --only it was an alcoholic spouse which can be pretty crazy. It's because when you are living with a problem --trying to fix the problem --being affected by the problem, you don't always see things clearly. Once you get away from it you can see better. I don't think Mr Yates has had that, he's lost his whole family but is now caught up in the bad publicity and trial. I wonder if there are to be any second chances for him to have a normal life?
Time will tell. I personally know a man who befriended the neighborhood loner. Well it turned out this guy came over to his house and murdered his wife. The trail was before my time , but I guess it was a very public thing. He ran off and joined the navy. He eventually remarried and got back to a normal life. But imagine how he felt when his "being a nice guy" cost him his wife?
Suicides, drugs, alcohol, you learn about how common this stuff is after you suffer a big loss. People will tell you because they know that you will no longer give them "advice" and use them to validate yourself. You have crossed over into the camp of those who have suffered.
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