Car Wash "Penis" was an "Udder" Thing Instead (whew)

Reuters ^

[Dallas]

HASTINGS, Neb. (Reuters) - A lingering mystery involving what appeared to be a severed human penis found in a Nebraska car wash has been solved, police said on Wednesday, with tests showing the organ was a cow's teat.

"I've learned more about cow parts and human parts in the past two weeks than I cared to," said Police Chief Larry Thoren.

Police launched a possible homicide investigation after the part was found near a vacuum cleaner at a car wash in Hastings on Feb. 12. Local medical officials said they thought it resembled a human penis and it was sent off to a state crime laboratory for further tests.

Thoren said test results showed it to be a cow's teat, nothing udder.

[deadrock]

I cannot top that.

[freebilly]

This story should be posted under Breaking Moos.

[Happygal]

Do a DNA test on this stuff! *L*

[TeknoBeck]

I am just really, really curious how the cow lost this thing and what the hell was it doing driving around in a car!?

[Dallas]

titilating story....eh ?

[Dallas]

They should put out a dragnet for an over-zealous dairy farmer..

[Rebelbase]

As usual the cream of corny posters has risen to the top once again.

[Dallas]

the thread needs to be homogenized ?

[Rebelbase]

Yes, Homogenize the thread before it sours.

[sweetliberty]

Oh come on y'all....should you really be making fun of a guy who thought a cow teat was a penis. Poor guy was probably anatomically shortchanged and doesn't even relieve himself publicly!

[colorado tanker]

"Its a clean machine." The Beatles.

[Dallas]

I guess it's safe to say he wasn't breastfeed as a child---or he would have known the difference ?

[Dallas]

whoops I meant "breastfed"

[sweetliberty]

"whoops I meant "breastfed"

You sure you didn't mean "beastfed?"

[sweetliberty]

Regroup here....it wasn't a cop that thought it was a penis...it was the "local medical officials!!" Note to self: "never, ever go to the doctor in Nebraska!!"

[Pablo64]

"I am just really, really curious how the cow lost this thing and what the hell was it doing driving around in a car!?"

I have a theory about that. I live north of Hastings and there are several meat packing plants well within commuting distance of Hastings. My guess is that someone who works at one of the plants has a sick sense of humor and just wanted to see what might come of such a "prank".

This is just my theory, however. Conspiracy theorists should feel free to renounce or expound in greater detail. This could really get funny.

[Dallas]

Note to self: "never, ever go to the doctor in Nebraska!!"

or for a nipple-piercing.

[sweetliberty]

"As usual the cream of corny posters has risen to the top once again."

Grin when you say that! ROTFL!

[freebilly]

I herd they found it around teatime.