I further stated that there are often events in a life that are not typical of the lifestyle, such as the urban professional spending a week in the Alaskan wilderness.
I suggest that you use the dictionary of your choice and look up the word, "lifestyle". You will probably disagree with the dictionary as well, but nevertheless, the English language is composed on standard definitions, and not opinions, or what we would like to see the word mean.
BTW, where did you come up with the "once a month" swing thing, as pertaining to the Van Dams?
I have no idea how often or frequently the Van Damn's engaged in swinging activities if at all. However the studies I have read on this topic find that swingers on average engage in their activites about once a month, hardley enough to be considered a "lifestyle", and are generally pretty average and normal in all other aspects of their lives. Just because someone is a "swinger" does not mean they are part of a "swinging lifestyle" just as the fact I am a biker, but certainly not part of a biking "lifestyle".
I am trying to make you see the point you have already made, that is Lifestyle is not an occassional act, which by in large studies have shown swinging tends to be. Not the pornographic orgies that mentally you have obviously assumed it is, with multiple unknown partners on a regular basis. THere are of course as with all things those who are hard core, and do indeed live a "lifestyle" around an activite.. in most realms (regardless of the activity) this is a minoirty (usually a very small minority) of those who engage in central topic of the "lifestyle".