I find the loops and turns this thread has taken somewhat curious. This sentence you wrote struck a chord with me..taking me back to just about where the loops and turns of this thread began.
My original question on the whole thing, was how could a lifestyle that parents felt compelled to hide or conceal from their children, be defensible? I asserted that a lifestyle that needs to be hidden from one's children is a lifestyle that calls for a re-examination.
You said that the child ran away when she found out her parents were perverts. I said that a child is fantastice at seeing and hearing things that parents would rather they not hear and see. I said there is usually consequences when the child discovers that Mom and Dad have presented them with a false facade..most often a feeling of betrayal, anger and alienation.
Those that defend and those that oppose marital "swinging" all seem to acknowlege that it is not healthy for the children of that marriage...
This is the only logical reason why parents would want to conceal it from their children....no matter how much they may defend it. In the end...they do not want their children to know.
If these parents engage in the swinging lifestyle, I am sure that a good part of the reason why they have neither ackowleged it or denied it, is that they do not want their two sons to know about it. Fat chance of that. If the sons have been going to school during this difficult time, they have probably heard all about it by now.
Very sad for those boys and that little girl who is probably long dead, by now.
Quite frankly the fact you ask this question makes me think you are one of two things, 1) a person who has never had children or 2) very foolish.
I know of no adult who does not do things they keep concealed from their children, not because they believe what they are doing to be wrong, but because they are ADULT and as adult activities are not meant for children's consumption. It does not mean that they believe what they are doing is wrong or immoral, but that it is not appropriate for children. My wife and I don't bare our sex life to our children, nor would we, and I would not expect most others to. I don't tell my children about the times I have gotten toasted on rare occassions either.
You believe that an adult lives should be open books for children? If you believe this and raise your kids this way I would be tempted to classify yourself as a bad parent. Adults engage in adult activities, adult activities are just that ADULT in nature, they are not for children's consumption. My job as a parent, (hell anyones job as a parent) is to raise their children up to be productive and proper adult human beings. To achieve that goal we protect and educate them on the world as they are able to accept it. You think that these parents are bad parents because they engage in an adult activity they would not openly discuss with a 7,5 and 2 year old (if I remember the kids ages correctly)? Personally I would question any parents who discussed intimate sexual details of their lives with children of this age, regardless of how wild or mild that sex life may be.
Do you discuss your intimate sex life with your children? I doubt you do, so why would you expect others to do so?