HUMOR BREAK - Cows and Politics..........

David C. Osborne (Private E-mail) ^ | UNKNOWN | UNKNOWN

[browardchad]

Holy cow! Thanks, David!

[Victoria Delsoul]

LOL, thanks David.

[walrus954]

A Floridian: You an amount of cows. Katherine Harris says you have three, but the State Supreme Court claims its only two. Meanwhile, Palm Beach keeps counting and recounting the cows until they come up with two.

[Lower55]

A CLINTON CORPORATION: You have one cow. She has one calf by a bull from a different herd.

[Lower55]

A DEGENERES CORPORATION: You have two cows and no bull. You artificially insemenate one then the other runs off.

[Mo1]

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[mafree]

A LIBERTATIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but one smokes the grass he is supposed to eat and the other one spends all his time at the state capitol making sure it is legal to date the underaged calf at the next farm.

(Just a friendly joke folks- I lean libertarian (small l) myself.

[Lower55]

A HECHE CORPORATION: You have two cows. One eats the other, but it runs off anyway.

[mafree]

Whoops- spelled Libertarian wrong.

[mafree]

Thanks for the ping- see#47.

[Lower55]

A BARNEY FRANKS CORPORATION: You have one steer.

[Hildy]

I've seen variations of this before, but nothing so...exhaustive!!! It's hilarious.

[Lower55]

AN ALEC BALDWIN CORPORATION: You have one cow. She can't act either.

[Lower55]

A JEFFREY DAHMER CORPORATIN: You and your partner have one steer. You slaughter him and eat him. You now have one steer.

[goodieD]

Mexico cow owner: you send your cows across the border to eat the American farmers feed, then when the cows get fat, bring them back across the border to eat them.
Canadian cow owner: you send your cows across the border for bovine health care, then take them back when they are well.
French cow owner: when the enemy comes for your cows you hand them over.

[E.G.C.]

BTTT!!!!!!

[Caipirabob]

Ooo! Ooo! can I play too?

A FLORIDA FARMER: You have two cows. One of them looks kinds of like a cartoon character. Disney sues you into the ground for copy-write infringement. They sieze the property after the lawsuit and build a theme park based on the cows.

[fnord]

Army cows - You have two cows. You have no milk production because both were procured using the lowest bidder, and one or the other is always away attending Milk Productivity Training. You eat MRE's instead.

Marine cows - You have two cows. You have no milk production because you lift them daily to improve your strength. You live on bugs and range chickens (uncooked).

Air Force cows - You have two cows. You have no milk production because the plush, air-conditioned stalls discourage natural behavior. You eat steak instead.

Navy cows - You have two cows. You have no milk production because they only seem interested in each other. You eat some more powdered eggs.

[shezza]

ROFLOL! All of you brilliant cow-contributors are hilarious!

[MrNeutron1962]

NEW ENGLAND DIRECT DEMOCRACY (AKA TOWN MEETING) BOVINE ARRANGEMENT

Hold a town meeting to discuss the cow situation. 2% of the population actually attend this meeting, only 3 of whom actually own any cows. Bored elderly residents wax endlessly on how much better cows where in there day, ask why we need two cows, after all, we saved the world in 1945 and the town didn’t even have it’s own cow but shared milking rights with some cows the next town over. Crab about their taxes going for a referendum on cow ownership.

New comer from ‘away’ asks why we need any cows in town at all, can’t we just lease a cow in say Iowa and have the milking profits used to local reduce taxes. Beside, cows smell bad. Let’s turn the farm into a B&B with a nice art gallery attached, and soak the tourists.

Fire chief complains that cow flatus is a known hazard, and if the cows stay, he needs a new firehouse and several new fire trucks to combat the menace that cow emissions create.

Several local business persons ask if they can have cows too, and if the cows will be taxed. They all get up to attend rotary club supper 2/3’s of the way through the meeting.

After hours of debate, the Local Board of Selectmen decides that the existing cows can stay, but any new cows will require a special permit and hearing at a town meeting. Repeating the entire process.