Mark Steyn: Wasn't Julia more intriguing with unshaven armpits?

The Telegraph (U.K.) ^ | 01/05/2002 | Mark Steyn

[Pokey78]

Ping for the MSPL.

[Dog Gone]

People Magazine is for twits.

Not once since I came to FR have I seen an article posted here from that imbecile magazine, thank goodness.

[Redcloak]

Intriguing...

[DoughtyOne]

Don't take this as a putdown, but I cannot stomach reading or seeing reports about these boring idiots. Nothing they do interests me. I hardly ever seen movies with this set in them.

As for Julia Roberts, the woman gives me hives just to look at her. The idea of coming into contact with her repulses me. Her smile reminds me of a racoon with peanut butter stuck to the top of it's mouth, so that it's lips are pulled back to reveal all it's teeth. And that yapping sound she makes when she thinks something is funny is positively disgusting.

I have never understood the premise of Pretty Woman, or should I say why it appeals to women. Do they all see themselves as hookers laying in wait for that one rich John to come along? Frankly I think far more of my wife than to think of her as a hooker, but she loves this movie. She's certainly not alone. Most women I know love it. It's one of their favorites. Sorry ladies, it's lost on me.

[Gritty]

As usual, Mark Steyn outdoes himself once again!

I started off this column thinking Steyn had at last written a boring 'loser'. I ended up rolling on the floor with laughter, screaming, "Stop! Stop!! I just can't take it any more!"

The Master has once again proven he can make a fantastic something out of nothing!

[freesia2]

I'm sorry, but I always thought you had to be reasonably intelligent to be considered intriguing.

[gcruse]

Please don't talk about him, one eye's gone!

Wow.  A prize in every paragraph.

[summer]

I always thought that movie was terrible.

[summer]

bttt

[Rocko]

I always thought Julia Roberts was terrible. Except maybe in Mystic Pizza.

[Lady Jag]

She's okay but I don't know what's the big deal.

[Rocko]

As for Julia Roberts, the woman gives me hives just to look at her. The idea of coming into contact with her repulses me. Her smile reminds me of a racoon with peanut butter stuck to the top of it's mouth, so that it's lips are pulled back to reveal all it's teeth. And that yapping sound she makes when she thinks something is funny is positively disgusting.

But...but...but...she's America's Sweetheart!

[BunnySlippers]

This is one of the features from "National Enquirer" ... the massive coffee table book that just came out. Sounds like Hollywood Babylon.

[Xenalyte]

I have never understood the premise of Pretty Woman, or should I say why it appeals to women.

Not to all women. I think it's hideous. Jason Alexander is the movie's only redeeming feature, and frankly, he's not in it long enough to make it watchable.

(Were I you, sir, I'd check your lady to see if she has predilections for Mr. Gere. That seems the logical explanation. If so, there are excellent disinfectants available.)

[dennisw]

And even Osama himself loses out, though last year saw the intriguing evildoer break out from the pack and sheikh his booty big-time. He's the biggest thing on magazine covers since Princess Di - and hey, he's got kohl-ringed eyes, too. We bet he'd look great in Versace, too, and he might even like hanging out with George Michael.

[dakine]

your 15...I agree...

[alnick]

Julia's there because she "won her first Oscar, starred in three movies and weathered a turbulent year on the romantic front".

Was there ever a year that wasn't "turbulent on the romantic front" for Julia?

[mountaineer]

I always thought you had to be reasonably intelligent to be considered intriguing.

That's what I was thinking. Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, et al., all strike me as being dumb as a bag of rocks.