[f.Christian]

Help!

[Cindy]

I am so sorry for you and your wife Mississippi Man. I will pray for you and your son.

[DreamWeaver]

MM, prayers are on the way and yes, prayer is so very powerful something I firmly believe in. It would help if you could just provide his first name, I find it easier to be able to use the first name in my prayers. God be with you all.

[umgud]

When I was young (13-25yrs), I was wild, beligerent and a lot of other things. I had great parents who raised me right. I woke up at 25 and have lived a straight & narrow existence since (I'm 50 now). Don't know why I did all those things and don't know why I straightened up (it didn't take a disaster). Don't blame yourselves. Keep praying and remain good role models. I'll pray for your situation also.

[uvular]

Is he still living in your home?

Went through some similar heartaches about 10 years ago, with 2 daughters; the one I was the hardest on turned out the best....Good Luck, my friend.

[jokar]

Have faith even Franklin Graham strayed from the path. I will pray to.

[brat]

Prayer Bump MississippiMan! Keep the faith!

[VRWC_minion]

Prayer said.

In the meantime two suggestions. Join ToughLove and get marriage counseling.

Toughlove works to help you see where you are supporting such behaviors, it teaches you how to detach, and the parents there are a great resource for problem solving.

Even if your marriage is really good, as mine and my wifes is, we found that a couselor helped us improve our communication skills to meet the extra challenges we were enduring. I would look for someone comfortable to do faith based counseling.

Im know most parents (because I did the same at first) in your situation would look at my advice and find all sorts of reasons to not pursue them. Its called denial which unless your the sole exception parent you are in to some degree.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

"I've lived my share of time on the wrong side of the equation and I'm well aware of what exceeds the limits of normal behavior. "

I will include your family in my prayers, but would also ask that you afford him the same latitude you had in finding your own path to Jesus.

[eastforker]

Been there,done that.There is realy nothing you can do physicaly.Since talking does no good,let him know you are there for him spiritualy,that when he decides to change his ways you will try to help him. And if he ever asks for help,"sign he wants to change" then give him help.

[eureka!]

Prayer bump. Stay strong...

[MizSterious]

Prayers on the way. By the way, MM, have you checked out his physical health? That's quite a personality change, and sometimes there is a physical cause that can be addressed. Blessings and prayers for the entire family, as I know this must be very difficult for everyone.

[El Cid]

Dear Sir,

This can happen. But let us pray he will be like the Prodigal, who after going astray - finally was broken, and had his eyes opened, and returned to his loving family. I'm sure you have done your best in raising your son, but we know only God can open eyes, and change a person's heart.

Dear Lord, you alone can save, and you alone are God. As you have written:

Ezek 36
25 Then will I sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean: from all your filthiness, and from all your idols, will I cleanse you.
26 A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
27 And I will put my spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes, and ye shall keep my judgments, and do them.
28 And ye shall dwell in the land that I gave to your fathers; and ye shall be my people, and I will be your God.

Dear Lord, we all come to you as hopeless sinners. Please save one of your lost lambs, and please change the heart of this young man. We pray for this in the name of our good Shepherd, Jesus Christ. Amen.

[kassie]

Prayers for you, your son, and your family.

[Joan_of_Argghh!]

It's painful, I know, to realize that you have no power in this situation...except the power of Love. Talk never changes anyone, resolve won't change him, fear won't change him, threats are useless. Love is awesome, powerful, and full of confidence in its own strength. Don't let him see that you're scared for him or not confident that he'll come around.

If you've done all you've said you've done, then you'll just have to believe in God's goodness and not let his actions shake your confidence in all the godly things you planted. If you've done your job, he knows he's messing up...but it keeps you sane and it bugs the heck of kids when parents just smile and say, "I know you'll be okay. We're praying for you."

Time to be courageous and smart. Don't give in to the heartbreak.

[wwjdn]

It is good to see a parent who is concerned, yes, I'll pray for your son. God Bless.

[Golden Eagle]

MM, I will pray for your family. I also recommend drawing clear distinctions in your discussion of where the choices he makes will lead his life, and be as overdramatic as possible. On one hand he could be a well educated, high income professional with a lovely wife and family, with a close relationship with God and everlasting life. On the other hand, he could get hooked on drugs, or die in a dui crash, or even somehow contract aids with his current behaviour. I know this is a tough thing to imagine for him but maybe the starkness of it will help him realize he needs to change before it's too late. Because as you probably know the longer you live a certain life, the harder it is to ever change it. Good luck and God Bless.

[Saundra Duffy]

Our hearts go out to you. I've been there, freeper pal. My daughter went through similar shenanigans. Rest assured that your parental input will kick in somewhere along the line. Don't beat yourself up over this. "Let go and let God." At one point, I went to ALANON (part of AA) and they helped me understand how NOT to participate in the bad behavior, how NOT to be an enabler (not that I think you are). Also, "tough love" concept helped me, too. "Heavenly Father - Please bless and help this family - In Jesus' Name. Amen!"

[catonsville]

My daughter was very popular during her teen years. Too popular, for she partied too much, studied too little and did not give a damn. She was raised in a good home, so my wife and I were surprised by this. She was listening too much to her"friends"

We supported her, tried to tell her what was right, kept our humor intact and never faltered in our love for her.

Than the rebellion just stopped. She drifted away from her friends, got her BA degree, was married for awhile, is now working for her MBA while selling upscale homes in Florida. Absolutely terrific person and I am very proud of her.

So, there is hope, keep the firm love going, I hope your boy comes to his senses.

[Tennessee_Bob]

I'll keep you, your wife, and your son in my prayers.

From the time I was seventeen years old, until I was thirty-six, I did everything I could to go against the grain of my parents. I rebelled, quit college, enlisted in the Air Force, married someone that was absolutely wrong for me, and looking back, I realize now that it was rebellion. Rebellion against my parents, their way of life, against the church they attended, and against God. It took twenty years, ten years in a bad and dangerous marriage, and a daughter whom I love very much to make me wake up and realize exactly what I was doing.

I'm divorced now, have custody of my eight year old daughter, going to school to finish my degree, going to church, and working hard on my relationship with Christ. Life isn't perfect, it isn't the greatest thing, but I realize now that it's the better than what I had going.

It may be a while before he wakes up. Sometimes, God speaks to us in a still, quiet voice. Othertimes, we can hear Him in the thunderstorm and the wind. Then there are those times, as with me, when He hits you upside the back of the head with a 2x4 and says "LISTEN!"

There have been a lot of good suggestions here. Counseling for you and your wife would be good, Tough Love would be good as well. But also patience, and living the example, as you've been doing.