[Tourist Guy]

I was there to match my intellect on national TV
Against a plumber, oh, and an architect, both with a PhD
I was tense, I was nervous, I guess it just wasn't my night
Art Fleming gave the answers
Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right, -ight, -ight

I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)
I lost on Jeopardy, baby (oooh)

[birbear]

It's been one week since we got to see
cheatin' lovers and cousins that marry
5 days since they had the shoe
with the hemaphordite, the slut and the crack ho
3 days since we heard the tale
about the guy who learned his woman was a she male
Yesterday it occured to me, that I've been watching too much Jerry Springer