Posted on 12/22/2001 7:19:44 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
The following are reputedly comments made on applications for welfare.
-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.
-- I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?
-- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.
-- I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children. Can you tell me why?
-- I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.
-- This is my eight child, what are you going to do about it?
-- Please find for certain if my husband is dead; the man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.
-- I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.
-- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.
-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake, as you will see.
-- My husband got his project cut off 1 week ago and I haven't had any relief since.
-- Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
-- You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?
-- I have no children yet, as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night.
-- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.
-- I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 months and he doesn't doe me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.
They forgot one: Lady wrote to the Bureau of Indian Affairs because she wanted to have an affair with an Indian. (They called them "Indians" back in those days!)
g
"Jimmy hurt his leg playing soccer yesterday. He will not be able to do PE today. Please execute him."
So he did. :-)
Merry Christmas Victoria!
Thank you.
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I will, thanks.
Right!
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