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Comments Made on Welfare Applications
Urban Legends Reference Pages

Posted on 12/22/2001 7:19:44 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul

The following are reputedly comments made on applications for welfare.

-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and 6 children. I had 7 but one died, which was baptized on a half sheet of paper.

-- I am writing to the welfare department to say that my baby was born 2 years old. When do I get my money?

-- Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited regularly by the clergy.

-- I cannot get sick pay. I have 6 children. Can you tell me why?

-- I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

-- This is my eight child, what are you going to do about it?

-- Please find for certain if my husband is dead; the man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

-- I am very much annoyed to find that you have branded my boy illiterate as this is a dirty lie. I was married to his father a week before he was born.

-- In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing 10 pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

-- I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children, one of which was a mistake, as you will see.

-- My husband got his project cut off 1 week ago and I haven't had any relief since.

-- Unless I get my husband's money soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.

-- You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make any difference?

-- I have no children yet, as my husband is a bus driver and works day and night.

-- In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope.

-- I want my money as soon as I can get it. I have been in bed with the doctor for 2 months and he doesn't doe me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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Merry Christmas, everyone!


1 posted on 12/22/2001 7:19:44 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
Amazing
2 posted on 12/22/2001 7:25:24 PM PST by TheHundred
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To: Victoria Delsoul
Gorgeous Picture. The welfare story goes back to the '60s, but is still hilarious. For fun try 'Shirleyqliquor.com'.
3 posted on 12/22/2001 7:29:32 PM PST by constitution
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To: constitution
I remember reading those years ago.

They forgot one: Lady wrote to the Bureau of Indian Affairs because she wanted to have an affair with an Indian. (They called them "Indians" back in those days!)

g

4 posted on 12/22/2001 7:34:27 PM PST by Geezerette
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To: William Wallace; Luis Gonzalez; sirgawain; Sabertooth; Travis McGee; sit-rep; Rondog; Ken H...
FYI!
5 posted on 12/22/2001 7:34:40 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
These are undoubtedly the mild ones.
6 posted on 12/22/2001 7:38:43 PM PST by LarryLied
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To: Victoria Delsoul
True story: a friend of mine taught in downtown Norfolk schools; he got the following note from a parent.

"Jimmy hurt his leg playing soccer yesterday. He will not be able to do PE today. Please execute him."

So he did. :-)

7 posted on 12/22/2001 7:41:02 PM PST by Howlin
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To: Victoria Delsoul
LOL! No matter how illiterate some welfare recipients are, the one thing they know how to do is ask for money.

Merry Christmas Victoria!

8 posted on 12/22/2001 7:43:25 PM PST by William Wallace
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To: Howlin
LOL!!!
9 posted on 12/22/2001 7:43:34 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: LarryLied
You think so? hehehe.
10 posted on 12/22/2001 7:45:06 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: TheHundred
And funny, too.
11 posted on 12/22/2001 7:45:54 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
-- I am glad to report that my husband who was reported missing is dead.

LOL...Thanks for the flag. And, Merry Christmas to you, Victoria! :)
12 posted on 12/22/2001 7:46:19 PM PST by summer
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To: constitution
Gorgeous Picture.

Thank you.

For fun try 'Shirleyqliquor.com'.

I will, thanks.

13 posted on 12/22/2001 7:47:34 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: summer
You're welcome, summer.
14 posted on 12/22/2001 7:48:26 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul
Very cute :-)
15 posted on 12/22/2001 7:49:23 PM PST by habs4ever
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To: William Wallace
the one thing they know how to do is ask for money.

Right!

16 posted on 12/22/2001 7:49:40 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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To: Victoria Delsoul;68-69TonkinGulfYatchClub;SAMWolf;Aeronaut;The Thin Man;B4Ranch;Daisyscarlett...
Thank you so much Victoria.....and what a BEAUTIFUL picture too.
17 posted on 12/22/2001 7:49:55 PM PST by Snow Bunny
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To: Victoria Delsoul;JohnHuang2
BUMP
18 posted on 12/22/2001 7:51:57 PM PST by Snow Bunny
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To: Victoria Delsoul
ROFL!
19 posted on 12/22/2001 7:53:10 PM PST by Buckeroo
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To: Buckeroo
:-)
20 posted on 12/22/2001 7:53:54 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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