Posted on 12/22/2001 5:34:38 PM PST by Bad~Rodeo
If the Internet has brought some people closer, it has unfortunately separated others and in some cases even broken up marriages. Sometimes a bored wife finds an interesting person and decides that her relationship with her husband has gone stale. Through the Internet, she feels she has begun a meaningful and lively relationship. In such cases, the Internet has been the means of destroying relationships.
In the early days of Internet chatting, newspapers reported these break-ups. Now, however, such things have become so common that they hardly provoke any interest at all. They have now become another accepted fact of social life. Perhaps it all began in fun but the end result was anything but — broken marriages and unhappy people.
Recently, a young Pakistani housewife who had been in the Kingdom nine months ago returned to Karachi, leaving her husband behind. When she first arrived, things went very well but then her husband suddenly began coming home later than usual. He was spending extra time on the computer visiting chatrooms. Her protests failed to bring him home on time so she returned to Karachi. Luckily the conflict has not yet reached the stage of divorce and so there is a chance of reconciliation.
Not long ago an Indian couple who were addicted to chatting went from the Kingdom to the United States for a vacation. While there, the wife met one of her male chat friends, an Indian software engineer. The husband never suspected anything though his wife and her chat friend saw each other for almost three weeks. From the US, the couple went to India where the wife remained while the husband returned to the Kingdom. In a few weeks, the man received a letter from his wife; she was in Chicago and she wanted a divorce. She confessed that after the time she had spent with her chat friend, she wanted to marry him.
There have also been cases in which petty interests motivated people to leave their spouses and marry their chat friends. These interests include the lure of a green card for the United States or a UK work permit. The attraction of a Western lifestyle has also been the reason for many women leaving their husbands. A Pakistani accountant who had dreamed for years of migrating to the US found a single American mother on the Internet. Their cyber-relationship lasted for almost a year and the American woman wanted to marry. The accountant who had been married for five years went to the US and married his chat friend. He, however, was honest enough not to divorce his first wife and he admitted to his friends that he was marrying the American woman in order to get a green card.
It is beyond doubt that man by nature is not monogamous. At the same time, indulging in relationships based mainly on deception and dishonesty is no justification for anything. Similarly, when a woman forgets her marriage vows and leaves her husband for someone she knows only from an Internet chatroom, serious doubts are cast on her intelligence and integrity.
Internet chatting was originally to allow people to interact and learn about personal differences and differences in ways of living. The idea was to make the world what has been called a global village. It was not intended to break up marriages and destroy relationships. As we all know, this is what has happened. Is it not a misuse of the Internet and a reflection of the faults of Internet users?
P.S
Sometimes there's no accounting for stupidity
Relevence? Bill Clinton didn't get a bj over the internet. How do you cheat over the internet?
Showing your colors? Those in our society, who knows what is best for everyone else, can label others just by saying it is so.
Citizen you have been convicted of thinking bad thoughts and bad thoughts are as treasonous as bad deeds. See how easy it is to cast those stones about.
I hope I'm not being misunderstood, but I'm not advocating "net police", or even saying that being on a forum like this is cheating. I'm specifically talking about married people meeting people of the opposite sex on-line, and that it's bad and wrong. That's all.
I'm troubled by your equivalence of thought and deed. Lustful thoughts are the moral equivalent of lustful acts. Every human has lustful thoughts -- therefore every human is guilty of marital infidelity.
So we get two worlds from your view -- one world where your followers are always miserable and self-loathing because they know they are unfaithful to anyone they've ever loved. The other world where, heck, if that's cheatin' and I'm guilty of it, I might as well go the whole way on the same nickel.
Before someone cheats on a spouse, their hearts have gone before their bodies did.
Their hearts were gone before they turned on the computer the first time.
I'm specifically talking about married people meeting people of the opposite sex on-line, and that it's bad and wrong.
I think it means they didn't marry well. That happens, a lot.
I agree. Doesn't make what they do on-line okay, which is all I'm saying. Turn off the computer and talk to your spouse, or go see a marital counselor.
So we get two worlds from your view -- one world where your followers are always miserable and self-loathing because they know they are unfaithful to anyone they've ever loved. The other world where, heck, if that's cheatin' and I'm guilty of it, I might as well go the whole way on the same nickel.
I honestly don't understand where you're coming from when you say this. My followers? I think we're essentially in agreement, although stating it differently.
I know of one sports specific discussion group that has, in the last 8 years, had one girl leave her husband and son to move across the country to be near another member of the group even tho she knew he was living with someone and not interested. After living there for a month or so and realizing that he meant what he said, she committed suicide. A few years later, another couple left their respective spouses and moved in together and later married. All of this from innocent internet chat/discussion.
I think you have to be aware of the temptations on the internet the same as you would anywhere else. The fantasy of anonymity can be dangerous and it could be easy to cross the line.
As far as "cheating" on the internet, I am assuming you have never heard of "net sex". To me, there isn't much difference between that and regular person to person adultry.
Not long ago an Indian couple who were addicted to chatting went from the Kingdom to the United States for a vacation.
A lot of HINDU Indians work in SA (the Kingdom of Saudia Arabia). Yes they may be talking about Hindu residents of SA.
If ever I do get married, I trust it's sufficiently "well" enough to cut my FReeping time by 4/5ths (or more, the first year or so, anyway =).
I feel guilty about neglecting my dog, for Pete's sake. Blows my mind that some surely must feel that way about a spouse or children.
And here I thought you and Steve Forbes...oh...um...never mind. ;-)
(Funny how you've ended up the biggest bang for the buck that evening after all! =)
Oh, I agree they are essentially the same thing. I also agree that actually meeting the person, say at a library or a restaurant and talking with them is the same thing.
So is "flirting" such as at social events. The "conversation" could just be "the look," whatever -- the messages are communicated.
These are all the same things.
What I am asking is when is it "cheating." And if it is cheating right away, then why bother to not go all the way -- you've already committed the crime. Right?
Nice pivot. Doesn't wash though. These fundies are trying to use taxpayer dollars extracted at the point of a gun, to pay for their little religious observances.
Now you can have fake religious neutrality wherein the government really does support one or several religions -- or you can have real religious neutrality in which religion is carried out on PRIVATE property and is not co-mingled with government trappings.
Now I know fundies want the government to bankroll their religion, and force it down everyone's throats. But I prefer that religion exist on PRIVATE property only.
Don't worry about us girl FReepers-- we got more class than to chase married men around cyberspace. (Now the single guys--look out!)
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