Oh, a double whammy....I'd probably yell at The Big Guy for a while, then rely on what strength I had left & my faith.
Because my friend is ex-NYPD, his family leaned on him in their desparation, but there was nothing he could do. When I started hinting that I thought no one would get out of that building alive, he snapped at me (which is rare), but it was really telling him something he already knew, but couldn't face it. But he also knew I was trying to be strong for him, just to listen--and he was there for me when I lost it and started to get some ptss creep.
Sadly, they were only married for 2 1/2 months before he was murdered. He even was scheduled to take the entrance exam for the FDNY the week of 9/11. They had so many plans for the future--buying a home, children (lots of kids!)--and now,like so many families of the victims, and so many families of our servicemen killed in Afghanistan, those plans are shattered.