"We" have to force them to behave? Surely you're not talking about the U.S. If you are, I suspect that "we" does not include you (i.e. you won't have to go, you'll send somebody else's son to do it).
Most of what you say sounds reasonable...on paper. But the people who actually live there don't see it that way. The notion that we can force them to get along on our terms is not realistic. They are going to have to figure this out for themselves. We may not care for their solution but that's life...more specifically, their lives. They are not our children, to be dictated to about how late they can stay out Friday night.
Much of the misery of the past couple of centuries has been caused by so-called statesmen who figured they could "order" the world as they saw fit, because they had a set of maps to play with. As you seem to be familiar with the recent history of the Middle East you must know this applies there as much as anywhere. The elitist meddlers are going to have to get their noses out of the Middle East. Oh, I know: if we don't do this and do that there will be bloodshed, chaos, nuclear bombs, etc. We have that now--because of the meddling. The best thing we can do now is not make it worse.
The nastiness that passes for support of Israel around here is beginning to annoy me. While you have made some excellent points I am going to refrain from discussing this any further until some posters learn some manners. Many on both sides want the meddling to continue...it gives them an excuse when the next piece falls apart.