May I suggest an aged Velvetta .
While it only bears a passing resemblance to cheese, Velveeta can be put to good use.
1. It makes a passable door stop or bookend for cookbooks.
2. If frozen, it makes a good wheel chock while changing a tire.
3. It can even be eaten. When cut into cubes and mixed with a can of Rotel tomatoes and microwaved until soft, it makes a decent dip for corn chips. The mixture makes awesome grilled cheese sandwiches.
Merry Christmas Y'all!
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LoanPalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)