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My Fuzzy Blue Velveeta

The kids were all a-screamin' for some lunch, or was it snack?
There was Dave and Pablo, Bob and Ray, Katherine, Jill, and Mac,
after whom chimed in the others: Suzy, Jacky, and Conchita,
So I went and got my fuzzy blue Velveeta.

We don't know how it was done,
'cause Velveeta doesn't spoil. (Not even in the sun!)
Those folks at Kraft are clever, they've really got it made
with cheese that doesn't ... biodegrade.

It's sealed tight in the fridge, with "Toxic" on the label.
A few adults and children are the only ones who're able
to stomach and survive a toasted whole-wheat pita
filled with my fuzzy blue Velveeta.

We don't know how it was done,
'cause Velveeta doesn't spoil. (Not even in the sun!)
Those folks at Kraft are clever, they've really got it made
with cheese that doesn't ... biodegrade.

Maybe 'twas a chemist with an enzyme never seen,
Perhaps it was the work of an engineered gene.
All we know is our enemies will always be defeata
if forced-fed my fuzzy blue Velveeta.

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a doggie bar having a drink when a good-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie says, "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative."

Finally, with his Mexican accent, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone......cheese mine."

So...does or doesn't this book include Moosecheese? I needs to know, because I just rec'd a large New Years shipment, and must order around 900 gallons of whatever wine goes best with it.

Boy, news of this excellent book got here just in time. Y'know, disappointed Hells Angels can be unpleasant if their cuisine isn't right up to international standards. I trust you guys, so I'm publishing my home address, so they can all come over and have a culturally superb holiday this year.