These arrangements, based upon the factors above, tend to be realistic for the couple at hand. Whether their children are sons or daughters, babies or teenagers, the division-of-labor with regards to the caregiving of the children should be as nearly the same in divorce as it was in the marriage.
This is the only way to prize the stability interests of the children over the interests of either parent.
There are fathers who raise babies perfectly, attuned to every cue...a Y chromosome affects style, but doesn't diminish quality or importance. Trust me on this one.
A father should have no less time with his children in divorce than he did within the marriage. Ditto for mothers.
As to money, that is a secondary issue which should in no way subordinate the prescription regarding custody arrangements noted above.
Yet, it is an issue, so I'd say simply proportional division, based upon the real needs of the child. If Parent A earns $80,000 a year and Parent B earns $20,000 a year, the payment of "child support" should be divided 80% to 20% and put into a checking account that doesn't allow cash or debit/credit card withdrawals. Both Parent A and Parent B should have full access to the account records, and photocopies of checks written on the account should be mailed to both parents each month automatically, with the subject lines of each check noting the nature of the expense that the check is written for.
Well said. Please see #356, this thread!
Well said. Please see #356, this thread!
I love the way you think! One of my biggest beefs is that the accounting of the money I send for "child support" is (according to the courts) none of my business. I don't know if it goes to the children (including groceries, housing, etc), or for a fur coat for my ex-wife.