But then it's no longer anarchy, because rules have been established. Self-governing is still governing.
So its a contradiction if in order to make it so that no-one governs me, I govern myself?
But your doubts and questions are bringing you to the cusp of some important reveleations -- that anarchy is best understood as a tendency, not a program or platform. and that regarding things as absolutes will lead us ultimately into useless loops such as "total freedom = tyranny" and "no government == dictatorship", so we should rather be interested in the incremental changes that can be made in society. Like are we better in a society that can chase a 15 year old girl out of school for her opinions or not?