FR Exclusive! The Chanukah Song (for Republicans)

Dec. 9, 2001 | Cinnamon Girl

[Cinnamon Girl]

(You all know Adam Sandler's Chanukah Song. Well, here's another version...)

CHANUKAH SONG

Put on your yarmulke, here comes Chanukah,
So much fun-ikah to celebrate Chanukah,

When you feel like the only Jew in the GOP,
Here’s a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me.

Mayor Norm Coleman lights the menorah,
He makes Minnesota liberals so, so sore-ah.

White House Press Secretary, Ari Fleischer,
Hopes Helen Thomas takes a vacation to make Chanukah even nice-sher.

Guess who spins the dreidel to the Chanukah hits,
Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz.

Dennis Prager’s Jewish, Michael Medved is, too,
Put them on Politically Incorrect and the liberals turn to goo.

You don’t need to listen to Joe Lieberman whine,
‘Cause you can get some chocolate gelt from Republican Ben Stein.

Hillary Clinton, not a Jew,
(let's just leave it at that.)

We’ve got Dr. Laura, and Charles Krauthammer,
Horowitz and Jacoby hope Clinton gets put in the slammer.

So put on your yarmulke, it’s time for Chanukah
Don’t forget your harmonica, it’s time to celebrate Chanukah

So drink your gin and tonica, but skip the marijuanica (we’re not Libertarians!)
And have a happy, happy, happy, happy Chanukah!

[Cinnamon Girl]

Happy Chanukah to you too, Hildy!

[jrewingjr]

You are funny, girl.

[veronica]

Bump....

[Sabramerican]

Nicely done.

And to add a little politics.

NY Jews moving Republican

[Cinnamon Girl]

Thanks for the link. I think the Dems are reading Jewish voters all wrong. In the blue zones especially, Jews are sending their kids to private schools, so the more the GOP makes the case that public schools are a disaster and a money pit, the less the social responsibility guilt trip is going to fly. Also, the Dems willingness to give platforms to party buffoons like Al Sharpton and rejoice in race baiting, the more they alienate the younger generations that don't buy into it.

[ken21]

i'm glad that you got dennis in there. he's been doing his stuff in los angeles for a long time, and doesn't get the national recognition that he deserves.

[SamAdams76]

Great! Now we have to find a Jewish woman Republican whose name rhymes with "And yes her boobs are real!"

[B Knotts]

Excellent article! That should be posted in its own thread!

[Cinnamon Girl]

I don't get it, Sam.

[Lurking Libertarian]

Twas the night before Chanukah, boichiks and maidels
Not a sound could be heard, not even the dreidels
The menorah was set by the chimney alight
In the kitchen, the Bubbie was hopping a bite
Salami, Pastrami, a glaisele tay
And zoyere pickles mit bagels -- Oy vay!
Gezint and geschmock the kinderlach felt
While dreaming of taiglach and Chanukah gelt
The alarm clock was sitting, a kloppin' and tickin'
And Bubbie was carving a shtickele chicken
A tummel arose, like the wildest k'duchas
Santa had fallen right on his tuchas!
I put on my slippers, ains, tzvay, drei
While Bubbie was eating herring on rye
I grabbed for my bathrobe and buttoned my gottkes
And Bubbie was just devouring the latkes
To the window I ran, and to my surprise
A little red yarmulka greeted my eyes.
When he got to the door and saw the menorah
"Yiddishe kinder," he cried, "Kenahorah!"
I thought I was in a Goyishe hoise!
As long as I'm here, I'll leave a few toys."
"Come into the kitchen, I'll get you a dish
Mit a gupel, a leffel, and a shtickele fish."
With smacks of delight he started his fressen
Chopped liver, knaidlach, and kreplach gegessen
Along with his meal he had a few schnapps
When it came to eating, this boy sure was tops
He asked for some knishes with pepper and salt
But they were so hot he yelled out "Gevalt!"
He loosened his hoysen and ran from the tish
"Your koshereh meals are simply delish!"
As he went through the door he said "See y'all later
I'll be back next Pesach in time for the seder!"
So, hutzmir and zeitzmir and "Bleibtz mir gezint"
He called out cheerily into the wind.
More rapid than eagles, his prancers they came
As he whistled and shouted and called them by name
"Come, Izzie, now Moishe, now Yossel and Sammy!
On Oyving, and Maxie, and Hymie and Manny!"
He gave a geshrai, as he drove out of sight
"A gut yontiff to all, and to all a good night!"

[maestro]

Happy Hanukkah Everybody!!
(The 25th day of the month Kislev etc.)
(Happy Birthday, Jesus!)
(The LIGHT of the Universe)
(St. Ja-Hannahn [John] Chapter 10)
(God 'is' Light!!)
(HIS LIGHT is our Joy!!)
Happy Channukah Everybody!!!
:-)

[Sabramerican]

Be my guest

[maestro]

1st light bump.

[Cinnamon Girl]

Chanukah celebrates the victory of a small band of Jews (the Chashmonaim) over the Greeks who were ruling over Israel and sought to assimilate the Jews. When the Chashmonaim (sons of the High Priest) entered the Holy Temple (which had been defiled by the Greeks) to light the menorah, only one sealed vial of oil was found. Although it was only enough oil to burn one day, it miraculously burned for 8 days.

[SamAdams76]

That's a verse from Adam Sandler's followup version of the Chanukah song. I believe the line goes "And Veronica Beal from Baywatch is Jewish and yes, her boobs are real."

Well, maybe it doesn't get much airplay where you are but here in Boston, they play it to death.

[maestro]

Thank You!
2nd light coming up.
A Very, Very Joyous Hanukkah for you and ALL Israel!!!
:-)

[Cinnamon Girl]

I think I've heard the new version before. Isn't that the one in which he says "Lenny Kravitz is half-Jewish, Courtney Love is half, too, put them both together, what a funky bad -ss Jew"? Or is there yet a newer version?

[SamAdams76]

Yep, you got it. You must not remember that other line I was talking about but that's in there too, not to mention "that guy who does the voice for Scooby-Doo." Personally, I like the first version better.

[Cinnamon Girl]

[CounterCounterCulture]

That's a verse from Adam Sandler's followup version of the Chanukah song. I believe the line goes "And Veronica Beal from Baywatch is Jewish and yes, her boobs are real."

That's Version 2 of the Chanukah Song. Jennifer Beal from Flashdance was mentioned and then it was Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch, boobs, etc.