BIN LADEN IN TV SUICIDE-On air death will trigger attacks in UK, US &London

UK Mirror and Ananova ^ | Monday December 10, 2001 | What Tomorrow's Papers Say

[BlessedBeGod]

Is Jack Kevorkian going to help?

[CWRWinger]

"...he would FIGHT.... to the end...."

Bin Laden sounds like a control freak. He wants to control even his own time and place of death. Do you think he believes in the '72' virgins? I doubt it.

[Gwaihir]

Black bear, h*ll--go for a grizzly!

[dixie sass]

Tried to find that story on the Mirror - couldn't.

[Sungirl]

It was just suggested to me that he will use a lookalike because he is a coward.

[Ratatoskr]

I hope he can do math well enough to figure out when it's prime time in the U.S.

It'd really suck if he did it during rush hour and only got to see it in reruns.

[Rockitz]

He would definitely like us to think he's dead after he's heard what we're gonna do to him- a long few months in the general prison population with Bubba and his friends. Who gets the virgin now Osama? He'll wish he were dead.

He has the kind of cash to put on a believable Hollywood production, but he's a coward. He'll snake out of it and slink away to some south sea island.

[marshmallow]

OK, you guys have made me mad. I've asked my assistants to shoot me and give me a martyr's death, rather than be taken alive.

Alright, this time I mean it. I'm really gonna do it. I am. Honest. I'm gonna do it myself. I don't need no assistant.

Now you've done it. I gave you guys two chances. This time I'm gonna do it on television. You'll be sorry.

Right! That's it!! I'm gonna shoot myself into space on top of a rocket and blow up the entire solar system!! It'll be the biggest ever!! We've got sleeper cells on the sun!! Man, you guys are in deep do-do.

[Recovering_Democrat]

Washington DC--Responding to the London Mirror's Report that Usama bin Laden was planning a televised suicide as a precursor to new terrorist attacks on America, Socialist Senator Patrick Leahy (D-VT) blasted Attorney General John Ashcroft for "forcing" bin Laden into action.

"Clearly, the Attorney General's willingness to use military tribunals against Al Qaeda sympathizers has created a climate of 'injustice' in the minds of that organization's top leadership. Mr. bin Laden doesn't think he can get a fair shake from this country, and so he resorts to such desperate tactics as suicide. When will this administration ever learn?" Leahy said at a hastily called press conference on Capitol Hill.

Senate (illegitimate) Majority Leader Tom Daschle echoed Leahy's sentiments. Standing on two Manhattan phone books, lil' Tom cocked his head and said, "We've tried to work with the administration, but clearly they've gone beyond the pale. Do they want to trigger more attacks by killing these terrorists? This is just more evidence this administration will refuse to compromise. And now they want to give the American people more of their own money back? It is time we start again debating the issues the American people care about--like the Railroad Retirement Bill I tried to introduce two weeks ago."

On the House side, little DICK Gephardt said he wanted to support the administration, but was unsure how to think after hearing about bin Laden's plans.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry "punk" McAuliffe blasted Bush in a weekly radio address, and announced new radio and television ads sponsored by the DNC. "We're calling it our 'Clinton Did Better Against bin Laden' Campaign," McCauliffe said.

[redbaiter]

BIN LADEN IN TV SUICIDE-On air death will trigger attacks massive celebrations in UK, US

[ScholarWarrior]

You do realize this is a family show, here.

Ok, with that warning out of the way, he probably would use an AK-47 in the head -- suicide, remember?

If we did it, it would be different:

Now, with the Marines or the CIA, I would go with skinning.
He would last 2 maybe 3 days, most painful death possible.

If the Army got him, I would think drawn & quartered would be good, with his head on a stick.

Now the AirForce, they would do what Saddam did to one of his errant Scud commanders - he duct taped them to a Scud & launched it. I would think the guy would pass out from the G's at launch, but might wake up before impact. I would defer to other flyboys for comment on that option.

Best regards.

[Dr. Octagon]

Osama is a prick!

[goldstategop]

He thinks he's inspiration new moujihadeen for Allah eh? Well Osama Bin Laden's TV legacy will be to be material for Saturday Night Live. How many ways can a terrorist commit suicide? The wretch may be poor at taking it to the U.S on the battlefield but he's a laugh riot to Hollywood's comedy talents. I say let him bring it on!

[SF Geo]

Pay-Per-View! Pay-Per-View! Pay-Per-View! Pay-Per-View!
Give that bearded monkey some Gas-oooh-leen!

[DreamWeaver]

Under Islam suicide is forbidden. "O ye who believe!... [do not] kill yourselves, for truly Allah has been to you Most Merciful. If any do that in rancour and injustice, soon shall We cast him into the Fire..." (Qur'an 4:29-30).

Just more proof bin laden and his cronies are not following the religion of Islam at all !!! Just a bunch of whacko's.

[wjeanw]

Before we all start celebrating, there is a chilling side to this plot. What if he has nuclear devices? Having his "war" end in four/five such explosions around the world would seem to me to be in keeping with his eschatological dreams. I pray that whatever his devious scheme is, it is foiled.

[CARTOUCHE]

Not from what I read. According to several of his past female contacts (human perhaps) he is lightly built if you know where I'm going.

[Thumper1960]

That is sick.

I'll not be one of their "hits".

[DeckTheHallsHolly]

Got the Champagne chilling in the frig. In fact I have two bottles a large one in case of company when the word comes and a small one if I am home alone.

[Silly]

Matt Drudge just predicted that in 48 hours, bin Laden would either be captured or dead by his own hand.

Let's check back in two days.

Breaking hard...