Third story: Last May my best friend called on a Thursday. Her dad had just been told he had 4-6 months to live and he wanted me to come help him get his paperwork in order. We made an appointment for the next week. On Tuesday, five days later, my friend called to move the appointment up. Her father had just come from the specialist's office and he was given 2-4 weeks to live. I went immediately and talked to one of the bravest men I have ever met. He handled the challenge in a very straight-forward way. In his mind, he had thirty days to get his affairs in order. (The doctor had told the daughter 2-4 weeks, he told the father 4 weeks.) So he set up a schedule and a list and he completed the things one by one. We wrote his will. He was losing the ability to write so we wrote a durable power of attorney so his daughter could sign documents for him. He wanted a living will and we designated a health surrogate. All this was done in 24 hrs. Then he started working with hospice. Within a week he had everything in order. Then he spent the last three weeks of his life spending time with his wife and his children. Sharing time and stories and love. He lived 30 days and 8 hours. And he was ready to leave.
Because all his affairs were in order and his daughter knew where all the documents were and I was involved in all the decisions, the estate was completely settled within 30 days. His planning helped his family before he died and after he died. I think he did a magnificent job.
Those clients, and my own experience caring for my parents, convinced me that pre-planning is important and that the list is critical. In times of emergencies and times of last days, none of us want to be concerned with "paperwork", we want the time and the freedom to really "be" with the people we love.
That's why I started this conversation with my FReeper family. And it is why I am very grateful for every suggestion and every idea you have shared with me.