Replies

+50 / +10
- New York tenants turn on the heat
- Wisconsinites plant gardens
+40 / +4
- Californians shiver uncontrollably
- Wisconsinites sunbathe
+35 / +2
- Italian cars don't start
+32 / 0
- Distilled water freezes
+30 / -1
- You can see your breath
- You plan a vacation in Florida
- Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
- Wisconsinites eat ice cream
+25 / -4
- Boston water freezes
- Californians weep pitiably
- Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
+20 / -7
- Cleveland water freezes
- San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
- Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
+15 / -10
- You plan a vacation in Acapulco
- Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you
- Wisconsinites go swimming
+10 / -12
- Politicians begin to talk about the homeless
- Too cold to snow
- You need jumper cables to get the car going
0 / -18
- New York landlords turn on the heat
- Sheboygan brats grilled on the patio, yum!
-5 / -21
- You can hear your breath
- You plan a vacation in Hawaii
-10 / -23
- American cars don't start
- Too cold to skate
-15 / -26
- You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo
- Miamians cease to exist
- Wisconsinites lick flagpoles
-20 / -29
- Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
- Politicians actually do something about the homeless
- People in LaCrosse think about taking down screens
-25 / -32
- Too cold to kiss
- You need jumper cables to get the driver going
- Japanese cars don't start
- Milwaukee Brewers head for spring training
-30 / -34
- You plan a two-week hot bath
- Pilsener freezes
- Bock beer production begins
- Wisconsinites shovel snow off roof
-38 / -39
- Mercury freezes
- Too cold to think
- Wisconsinites button top button
-40 / -40
- Californians disappear
- Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
- Wisconsinites put on sweaters
-50 / -46
- Congressional hot air freezes
- Alaskans close the bathroom window
- Green Bay Packers practice indoors
-60 / -51
- Walruses abandon Aleutians
- Sign on Mount St. Helens: "Closed for the Season"
- Wisconsinites put gloves away, take out mittens
- Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-70 / -57
- Glaciers in Central Park
- Hudson residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
- Green Bay snowmobilers organize trans-lake race to Sault Ste. Marie
-80 / -62
- Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
- Rhinelander Birkebeiner
- Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
-90 / -68
- Edge of Antarctica reaches Rio de Janeiro
- Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
- Minnesotans migrate to Wisconsin thinking it MUST be warmer
-100 / -73
- Santa Claus abandons North Pole
- Wisconsinites pull down earflaps
-173 / -114
- Ethyl alcohol freezes
- Only Door County cherries usable in brandy Manhattans
-297 / -183
- Oxygen precipitates out of atmosphere
- Microbial life survives only on dairy products
-445 / -265
- Superconductivity
-452 / -269
- Helium becomes a liquid
-454 / -270
- Hell freezes over
-456 / -271
- Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
-458 / -272
- Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
-460 / -273 (Absolute Zero)
- All atomic motion ceases
- Wisconsinites allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy