BREAKING
The little town of Kensington, MD, broke all previous records of the number of Santa's ever assembled in one place, according to reporter, Chris Kringle.
"I've never seen so much red in one place since I visited Bosnia for Christmas in 1998," he said. "The Santas not only broke the Guiness record, but also vowed to purge the village of its idiots (Democrats).
"It's about frigging time," said Santa Claus, from his throne at the pole. "I have ordered tons of extra coal for them this year."
None of the village idiots were present at the ceremony and a new group, Bikers for the Claws, provided security. There were rumors that some council members were angry that the citizens had so much fun without them there.
Thanks to the not-so-Supreme Court however, any representations of Jesus, Joseph or Mary were prevented from the celebrations. St. Nicholas is rumored to be very pissed off and readying some lightning bolts.
