The Bill Of No Rights

Too Good Reports ^ | November 28, 2001 | Paul E. Scates

[Stand Watch Listen]

Though more than one wag wrote that the September 11 terrorist attacks signaled the death of liberal whining and America-bashing, the past two months have shown, unfortunately, that such is not the case. Apparently the perpetually offended and officious crowd doesn´t recognize that we´re in a war, or even that it´s as much to protect their ungrateful and sorry hides as well as decent folks. They have come back out from under their rocks, and with a vengeance, to organize peace protests, decry the U.S. bombing in Afghanistan, bray about U.S. ‘terrorism´ and spout other America-hating diatribes.

Newspapers, the Internet and TV news have been full of stories about the professional complainers, college professors (but I repeat myself), ACLU types, liberal/socialists and their limp-wristed and weak-minded cohorts. You know the ones I mean, those who think that their sophistication, education and intelligence qualifies them to rule…and are perpetually disgruntled because people with good sense think they´re too full of…themselves…to take seriously.

But not taking leftists seriously has been a serious mistake. Pretty much ignored by conservatives, socialists—calling themselves ‘liberals´—have dismantled what was once the strong foundation of this nation, and continue, even in the midst of war, to beset us. It is to them, especially, that this column is aimed, and to whom I heartily recommend a daily reading, especially of the second item.

I first read this delightful bit of good sense several years ago, and although it is somewhat of an Internet legend, I still routinely encounter friends and co-workers who have never seen it. Though sometimes erroneously attributed, it originated with Libertarian writer Lewis Napper, who unsuccessfully ran for the U.S. Senate in Mississippi against Trent Lott, the ‘conservative´ Senate Republican who simply gave effective control of the Senate to the Democrats, even before the defection of another GOP Senator to the leftists. (I can´t help but think ‘what might have been´ if Mr. Napper had been successful in unseating the worse-than-useless Lott.)

So, for all of you who haven´t yet had the pleasure, and with a strong belief that a ‘reality check´ is desperately needed right now, I offer Mr. Napper´s words:

The Bill of No Rights by Lewis Napper

We, the sensible of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden delusional, and other liberal, commie, pinko bedwetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

1. You do NOT have the right to a new car, big-screen color TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteed anything.

2. You do NOT have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone—not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, so get over it.

3. You do NOT have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturers to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

4. You do NOT have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of parasites who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of parasites.

5. You do NOT have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we´re just not interested in public health care.

6. You do NOT have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don´t be surprised if the rest of us get together and kill you.

7. You do NOT have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don´t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won´t have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure (well…).

8. You do NOT have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won´t lift a finger to stop you from going to fight them if you´d like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each other and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

9. You do NOT have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities in education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

10. You do NOT have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness—which, by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over-abundance of idiotic laws created by those around you who were confused by the original Bill of Rights. Amen!

Make copies, give ‘em to every liberal/leftist/socialist you know, friend or foe. Suggest that they paste them on their mirrors, and read them morning and night. Then, perhaps, we could return to a reasonable level of political discourse, marked by good sense and reason, and put behind us this decades-long wallowing in the politics of feeling and guilt by limousine liberals and those mindless enough to go along with them. (Hey, a guy can dream, can´t he?!)

And if, by chance, any of them ask for an explanation, you can tell them what it all means. It urges, in fact it is — a heartfelt plea, that liberals and socialists and others on the left make a serious attempt at understanding the true history of this nation, the foundations of the freedom they so abuse, and the principles and institutions of our democratic republic. And one other thing: it is given with hope that, finally, if only for a little while during this Christmas season, liberals will dig deep within themselves for some shred of sanity, some remnant of honesty and decency…and simply SHUT THE HELL UP!

[Stand Watch Listen]

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