[rwfromkansas]

I have a rather funny one I got from my uncle that has Abe Lincoln giving advice to Clinton...and well, it probably shouldn't be told because it suggests Clinton should get himself assassinated....lol.

But in any case, have you heard the one about the lady who kept coming to the white house and asked where President Clinton was? The Secret Service agent at the gate said, "he is not here anymore. Bush is now president." So she would leave....then she kept coming back over and over with the same result, until the SS agent said "why do you keep coming when you know clinton is gone from the Presidency?" She then said, "I knew Bush was the President, but I had to come all these days to remind myself how cool it is!" That is not exactly like what was told to me, but it does fit as close as I recall....it is more like a humorous little story than joke though.

[Johnny_Apollo]

An old man in a nursing home is laying on his bed naked crying his eyes out. The nurse walks in sees him, and asks "what's the matter"? He replies "my his penis died last night". She shakes her head and says she'll check in on him on the morning, and leaves. The next morning she returns, and there he is, standing tall, all dressed in a suit, with his penis hanging out of his pants. The nurse looks at him for a minute and says, "I thought you said your penis died yesterday, what are you doing?" The old man replies, "It did, today's the viewing".