Mom Urgently Seeks Help of US Citizens

trussell6.tripod.com/missing.html ^

[~EagleNebula~]

Mom Urgently Seeks Help of U.S. Citizens

My husband took off with our kids on (11/08/01).

There was no warning, he acted fine that morning, telling me he would see me when I got home.

When I did get home, he and the children were gone.

I went to the court house the next day, filed for divorce, custody, and a restraining order.

I was granted temporary custody, and now the police are looking for him so they can get the kids back to me.

He can be abusive to the kids.

One is 6 years old and doesn't recognize him as an authority, when she does this he get very angry and hits her.

The other is 21 months old, and my husband likes to slap him on the back of his head when he does something he (my husband) doesn't like.

I am scared, it has already been several days, and I am worried that he may hurt them badly since I am not there to protect them.

He could be anywhere but it is possible that he went to Tucson Arizona to his ex brother-in-laws house. Other possibilities are Waco, Texas; Burlington, Colorado; Flagstaff, Arizona; Farmington, New Mexico; Roswell, New Mexico; or he may be here in the southwest corner of Colorado. I have given this information to the police and they say unless he does something illegal, they cannot stop him to get my children.

I feel helpless and need help. If you could tell your friends and family about this it would really help to get the word out so they can find my children.

Please, My husband is thin (135 pounds) and is 5 foot 11 inches tall. He wears cowboy boots and a cowboy hat with a flat brim. He drives an blue 1985 chevy 3/4 ton deisel with a white camper shell, no back window. Plate # 402DAG. 2 yellow strobe lights, and 2 CB whip antennas (CB handle "lil stinger"). A heavy metal grill guard and a welded on trailer hitch on the back.

My kids are both blonds with beautiful blue eyes. My son has very curly hair. He is chubby, and my daughter is very thin and petite. She has straight hair usually kept in a pony tail.

If anybody has new neighbors that fit this description, please call your local police, and tell them that you might have seen the missing kids from Cortez, CO. Or call Cortez, CO. Police Dept. (970) 565-8441.

I NEED HELP!!! Tracy Russell

If you have any information please e-mail me at any of these 3 e-mail addy's! Plus I have MSN and Yahoo Messenger Screen Names trussell81321!

Fone e-mail addy: trussell@fone.net

Yahoo e-mail addy: trussell81321@yahoo.com

Hotmail e-mail addy: trussell81321@hotmail.com

[FITZ]

I don't think I believe it's "instincts" because those are traits that are inborn and abortion and some of the child abuse done by women proves women don't have an instinct to love their children, maybe it's learned from early childhood, a little girl learns from a loving mother. In many ways children need what the traditional father provided more than what the traditional mother provided. Kids need more than a warm meal and clean clothes, they need camping trips, they need the example set by someone going to work to show them how money gets made, they need to see someone fixing things. I think why so many children of divorce do poorly because the parents think one's role has ended. Custody laws should change, just like the example you gave where the woman was choosing to take them from their father to another city, the whole situation should be taken into account, if there isn't adultery, addiction, or abuse the parent ending the marriage shouldn't get custody. In the case I gave, I don't think a woman who chooses to end the marriage because she found someone she thinks is more interesting should get custody of the kids. The man in that case should have the kids and get child support paid to him.

[joathome]

I don't agree that the person who files for divorce shouldn't get the kids. Frequently, one parent has been emotionally absent from the marriage "and" kids for years before the other parent finally decides s/he can no longer live like that.

And you are sorely wrong. Feminists have for years tried to prove that little boys and little girls were conditioned to behave the way they do, but most little girls will continue to make babies out of bundles if they don't have a doll, and most little boys will continue to pick up sticks to play cops and robbers if their parents won't give them guns. :) You shouldn't have to deny biology to justify your position. It does your argument no good.

In general, women are predispositioned to parent, so, in general, women should get custody of the kids. Just like other of life's "generalities" there are numerous exceptions, and those should be taken into account......as I did when we supported our male friend in his custody fight against his wife.

[Don Myers]

"Will someone please post a story that doesn't depress me and make me think that I want to just be a single/conservative dude the rest of my life..."

That is a little hard to do.

[FITZ]

I've seen so many single mothers neglect their kids to go out running around with men, their instinct for sex seems to overwhelm any maternal desire to stay home with their children. If they had maternal instincts they wouldn't even bring male strangers into their homes but that seems to be done more often than not.

There might be some biology that makes women sit and cuddle their children and that's very good but it isn't the only parental instinct a child needs, they need the things the traditional father gives them just as much. Especially boys but girls too --they need to see their father using tools, they need to learn how to fix things, change a tire, they need to learn to set up a camp and make a bonfire. Yes they do need to learn how to cook and clean but there are many things even more important they need from a father --unless the mother is prepared to do all that too. One thing I've seen with single fathers is they seem to make sure the kids do have both but so many single mothers never do the camping and fishing trips and all the other things that are important. I know in my childhood my father taking us at night to find worms and getting us up before dawn to go fishing was just as important as having a nice meal to come home to.

[joathome]

ROFLOL I can assure you that most little girls are not found wanting if they've never been on a camping trip. :)

And as far as those single mothers.......behind most of those lousy single mothers is an even lousier single father. :(

Women aren't angels. As far as I can tell, we commit about 30% of child murders; so you're right, maternal instincts only go so far. Of course, most children spend FAR MORE time in the company of women, so women have far more opportunity to murder.

Such a nice topic on a lovely Sunday morning........ugh

[~EagleNebula~]

Maybe it would be wiser to label it as a nurturing parent and throw out the gender? I have seen nurturers in both sexes, and also seen abandonment in both. But you cannot deny the studies of infants showing that those who thrived were those who were nurtured. Those in the study who were merely having their basic needs met (clean diaper, fed, clothed) without the nurturing did not thrive.

I think you are right, that men need to teach their children, boys and girls, how to change a tire, change the oil, and use a hammer. My girls are not afraid of tools. But their mother was never taught how to change the oil! LOL Their father, no longer under the same roof, is teaching the oldest one how to do an oil change, and yet (grin) he doesn't think she can do it on her own yet! There are things like that which are important for women / girls to know how to do so that they can do things for themselves, and not be taken advantage of. It gives them the ability to be independent.

As for a single mom not taking care of the fishing and camping. ::buzzer sound:: (eerrrrrr) Wrong! My sister-in-law takes her 3 boys fishing. I have taken my girls camping! Single moms can do those things too!! ;-)

[WhyisaTexasgirlinPA]

No, it is not "people like us" that make you stay with abusers! You stay for different reasons, but not because of anyone else. To continue to claim this, you are making excuses for every woman who is not doing whatever is necessary to make sure her children, or herself, is safe from an abuser. I would think that your experience, along with your service in a shelter, would have taught you this.

I do not condemn Tracy - her situation is a nightmare, but her therapy is going to include her accepting that it is not the "fault of others" - that she lives in this situation. She will be exposed to the realities of her choices so that she can see where different decisions or actions could have produced different outcomes. She has to learn that there are choices made, and consequences for those actions. I sincerely hope that she and her children get the help they need, and that her husband does as well. But, your claims that "we" are the reason people stay in abusive situations is bull - and you are not helping your "friend" in the least by making excuses.

Hand holding and hugs are good for awhile, and I think that may be why you posted this thread, but, if you are truly interested in helping Tracy, you should quit making excuses and show her that she can learn from her mistakes and make a better life for herself and her children. She has to face herself first.....(and for the record, I don't need to read your brochures on Abused women, my education is in counseling)

[FITZ]

Oh ---I know single moms do sometimes do all that but many don't. Sometimes those families are deprived of things kids in intact families take for granted, family camping trips, having someone show them what tools are for and all the rest. I know single moms who never let their sons get messed up or have dirty clothes, they don't allow them to be boys and then wonder why they get in trouble. The male role model is very important and if the mother can fill it then the kids aren't as likely to miss out but thats why generally it's best to make sure that even in divorce the kids are left with 2 parents.

[~EagleNebula~]

I don't think you get it!!! I am not blaming, per se. It is what peer pressure does to kids in school. It is similar to what the public does to victims of spousal abuse. If you are truly in counseling in that field you would know this!!!

I am not trying to make excuses! You have NO IDEA how much I kicked myself for the 17 yr of hell my kids and I suffered!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!! I have not excused my behavior. When someone is in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship their elf-esteem is so broken.... If you haven't been there you will never completely understand!!! Healthy, strong people will not succumb to peer pressure. Those suffering from spousal abuse are not healthy enough to see the picture clearly. It takes someone else helping them to see it, and often it takes a very bad turn of events before the abusee truly sees the abuser for what they are. Then they still have the struggle of how to get out!!!

If all I was looking for is warm fuzzies on the thread I certainly would not be responding to you, or eastforker, or others who have had little heart or compassion here. If I need warm fuzzies, I will seek them out from my children and other friends in the Lord.

It is funny! If you really are working in this field then you should be seeing through this stuff being shovelled around here. Tracy is taking responsibility for what has happened and is working through the courts to correct it. I have taken responsibility for my situation.

The NAY-sayers want to keep us shut up somewhere so they don't have to hear about the neighbor who beats their spouse, or see the little kid in church who was bruised by their parent, or read in the paper how the woman from the grocery store was beaten to death, or the lady from the flowershop committed suicide because she couldn't take another beating! I was driven from the community by the people.....their talking, gossiping, lie spreading, and the cruel things they did to me and my children. Don't tell me that the 'outside' world doesn't have some responsibility. It does!

At a time when someone is most vulnerable, when an abusee is attempting to set themselves free from the prison they were in, they need SUPPORT!!! Many are unable to get out because they are not strong enough and do not have the support they need. If you know this field, then why are you aiding the hurt, and not educating and supporting! Where is your heart?

My battle was over not so very long ago. My wounds are still very fresh! My memories are still very vivid!!! My 7 yr old daughter is still having nightmares of daddy trying to run mommy over!!! I have been there!! WHEN YOU have been there, call me again. Then your understanding will be much deeper, and much better!!! Until then, books can only give you a bit of an education...living it is much different.

[~EagleNebula~]

PRAYER BUMP!

[~EagleNebula~]

Tracy goes to court on Tuesday, please remember them in your prayers!

[Dr. Octagon]

Good luck Tracey. Speaking for the millions of fathers who would sooner die themselves than treat their kids that way, I respect your efforts on the kids' behalf. They deserve the best.

[Dr. Octagon]

There I cordially disagree. Fathers do deserve equal rights to custody.

[Dr. Octagon]

I agree. I believe that good fathers and good mothers deserve equal custody under the law. However, in this case, I do believe Tracy. Tha's not a statement of principle; it's a view of the particular case.

[Dr. Octagon]

Now that's just not true.

[Dr. Octagon]

Not true. NOW and every other feminist organization OPPOSES joint custody, much less father-custody. The feminists aren't trying to equalize anything, just advantage women only. Please don't claim that fathers have lesser parenting instincts when you haven't been one. It's like saying you love your kids more than I love mine. It's silly, it's sexist, and it's exactly the misandric line that the feminists put forth. Conservatives have to give fatherhood and motherhood equal respect. Liberals/femininists never can.

[Dr. Octagon]

Tracey, I believe that good fathers have an equal right to residential custody.

However, in your case, I believe you entirely and support you completely.

[Dr. Octagon]

Right on, well said.

[Dr. Octagon]

True.

[Dr. Octagon]

That is so sexist.