Skip to comments.America could lose top spot in BCS computer rankings
Posted on 11/16/2001 1:21:49 PM PST by Sir Gawain
America could lose top spot in BCS computer rankings
First came the rout of Iraq's "fierce fighting machine" the Republican Guard; then came the lopsided victory over the supposedly scrappy, battle-hardened Taliban, but instead of these stunning wins keeping America firmly in the number 1 slot, computer experts now believe it could drop them in the BCS rankings to #2 or even the unthinkable #3.
The problem is that no matter how much the U.S. has tried to hype their opponents as worthy competitors, the BCS computer models aren't reflecting it. In fact, in an unofficial BCS-style computer poll, the Republican Guard ranks 236th just slightly ahead of Portugal's Royal Protectors while the Taliban doesn't rank at all anymore. There's even talk of placing the Taliban in another division, possibly with the Medellin drug cartel and the Cribs.
"I don't think we should be penalized," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "The AP had the Republican Guard ranked #4 before we invaded Iraq and the Taliban have been recognized for years as brutal, religious zealots, capable of fighting to the last man. These were top-notch foes."
But others disagree, claiming the U.S. has erroneously promoted the battle worthiness of their competition to make it seem that their schedule is much more difficult. "They have to fight somebody...it's that simple. They haven't fought anybody good since Japan and Germany," said Greg Francize, assistant director of the BCS Rankings. "They need to take on a Russia, an England, even a France would do. But this Arab, Muslim fanatic stuff it just ain't gonna cut it anymore."
Rumsfeld is not convinced. He ardently believes that the ranking problems lie with the BCS computer models: "We have remained undefeated since 1975, and even if our recent rivals are not quite up to top-ten play we annihilated them - -exactly what #1's are supposed to do. That has to count for something."
Many believe the dispute illustrates the need for an International Sudden Death Championship (ISDC) to determine once and for all who's really #1. Sponsors are already lining up for the possible event. FEDEX has offered the ISDC committee $1.5 billion for the rights to name the war: The FEDEX World War III.
Advertising Age editors and others in the industry were shocked that FEDEX would pay such an exorbitant amount. They point out that if the Championship was fought between Russia and US it would last at most 25 minutes: "a very poor return on a sponsorship dollar."
Yo, yo, yo, don't be dissin' the Crips. And even if you did learn to spell it right, it's still bad juju to be linkin' the Crips with them sorryass Taliban punks. More like the Taliban be put in a division with the Detroit Lions or somethin'.
LET'S RUN UP THE SCORE, BABY!!!
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