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I'm a native Texan who's watched Bush for years, and whose brother is in the media and is friends with some of his aides. Remember, as governor of Texas, Bush was the boss of the Texas Rangers, and I don't mean the baseball team. My brother has interviewed a lot of Rangers, and he says that grim, narrow-eyed look Bush gets when he talks about "the evil ones" is the same look he's seen on the face of every Texas Ranger he ever saw who was tracking down a murderer.

His suggestion, if you're worried Bush will wimp out and forgive Osama, is to get a copy of "Lonesome Dove" and read the part where the badass cowboy Dixon whips the old Ranger Call's son, Newt. Call knocks him off his horse and kicks him in the face. When he gets up, Call knocks him down and kicks him in the face again. This goes on for awhile until he drags Dixon to the blacksmith's shop and starts slamming his head against an anvil. He finally has to be lassoed and pulled off Dixon before he kills him. Later, he explains the beating by saying, "I hate a man that talks rude. I won't tolerate it." Sound like a quote from Bush?

Better buy yourself a crash helmet, Osama.