Whatever happened to please and thank you? (Vanity)

Me ^ | 11/14/01 | Me

[lds23]

Maybe I'm being petty, but I think it's the little details that inform how we look at the world. The decline of courtesy and manners is a well-worn adage.

But why do otherwise intelligent, well-dressed, and financially secure people treat service personnel like servants. At the Starbucks, the businesswoman says "I need a Large Capuccino". At the burger joint "Gimme a doublecheeseburger". Do they have so little self-esteem and respect that it would pain them to ask nicely?

Think of political discourse - it seems to run to "demands" for what is basically a handout from the government.

I'm no wilting flower, but wouldn't it make the day more pleasant? After all that's happened recently, you'd think we'd want to enjoy each day to the fullest.

[Fixit]

The following is an excerpt from a Letter to the Editor that I had published a few months back:

---

This story reminded me of the writings of author Robert A. Heinlein. Heinlein touched upon the deeper, darker meaning of widespread rudeness in his book, "Friday", wherein he answered the question "What are the marks of a sick culture?"

"… a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than a riot. This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health but as proof of his/her strength. "

[Fixit]

Oops, I forgot the last sentence of the quote:

"This symptom is especially serious in that an individual displaying it never thinks of it as a sign of ill health, but as proof of his/her strength."

[Random Access]

Thanks

[fourdeuce82d]

Absolutely- I'm a child of the 70's (born '62) and grew up when manners were thought to be less important than sincerity/letting it all hang out etc.

Now I make an effort to act in courteous and respectful manner to everybody I interact with. And people respond positively. I think people in general have become so used to doing without the social niceties, they are pleasantly surprised when they recieve them.

[Portnoy]

After putting my self through school by waiting on tables, I came to the conclusion that people do not know how to be waited UPON. They have no idea how to act when they go oout to eat.

[beaversmom]

I have to agree with you that manners are severely lacking these days. I find it especially so with service workers--I always say please and thank you, and I'm lucky to even get the slightest response from some of them. I called the K-Mart garden center this summer for a specific product. The young person on the other end answered the phone, "Yup". When I asked him if they still had the product in stock instead of saying, "No ma'am, we are out of that for the season, but you may want to try so and so store" he let out a guttural, "Uh, uh". He sounded like a retarded caveman. Simple manners and courtesies aren't being taught at home or in the schools anymore.

[Incorrigible]

[rond]

Amen to always saying "please" and "thank you." Also: Always open the door for a woman, not because she's a woman, but because you're a gentleman. Always put down the toilet seat when done. Do these things, you're on the path to being a better human.

[Grit]

"Gimme a doublecheeseburger".

[null and void]

Try saying this at the end of your next "want fries with that?" encounter: "Hey, YOU have a real nice day!"

They just light right up! Sometimes I think I'm the only person they have dealt with the whole day who has treated them like a human.

Be a trend setter.

Thank you!

and Hey, have a real nice day!

[reedmelnick]

Please have a nice day. Thank you. Yep, I feel better already. I agree. Sometimes when you tell someone thanks, or even hold open a door, they look surprised and then smile and say , "Thanks." Smile, pass it on.

[russdawg]

my two year old boy says please, thank-you and yes ma'am, yes sir and so do my nephews 2 and 4 years old. this is not something they want to do but we have made a concerted effort to teach them. we take them to other churches and the nursery workers talk about how polite they are. I'm proud I can't help it.

[goodnesswins]

YES...I'd rather get a "Please" or "Thank You" than the robotic...."Have a nice day" people have been TRAINED to say.

[IowaHawk]

I often worry about the loss of civility in our society. For instance, I always have to remind Duane, my local crack dealer, "b*tch, would a ****ing 'thank you' be too much?"

That Duane wouldn't know manners if they jumped up and bit him on the ass.

[null and void]

LOL, you "crack" me up...

[B Knotts]

Is this perhaps a regional thing? I notice that people are generally polite here in the Northwest and even moreso in the South, but less so in California and the upper Midwest. Dunno about the Northeast; never been there.

And, of course, Canadians are extremely polite.