There are a heck of a lot of women who are committing adultery as well. It is not always the man's fault. I read of a case on another board about a couple who married. Just after the marriage, the woman had a fling with a former boy-friend. She waited until her husband had an affair 5 years later before she told her husband about it. She said that hiding it poisoned their marriage. In other words, she had an affair which affected their marriage, probably pushed her husband into having an affair, and then told him about her affair with the old boy-friend.
There was another case in which the woman has been having an affair for the last 8 to 9 months and is not debating whether to tell her husband.
Another case in which the woman had an affair a year ago, the husband found out and has since moved out of the house after trying to work it out.
Personally, I think that when a spouse has an affair, the marriage bond has been broken. The marriage will never be the same again. And the couple had might as well just divorce and move on with their lives. Sometimes the guy has an affair, but often, often it is the woman.
Let's take a good friend of mine. Good marriage. Good kids. Then he goes bonkers at mid-life. Repents. She forgives. They have a wonderful marriage, and both love each other. I love sitting in their home. I can feel the love in that home, and it's not a touchy-feely sort of love. It's a love that's endured a horrific trial. One where one partner grieved, and the other partner had to face the fact that he was the cause of so much grief. Tell me, where is she better off? Living with her husband who now loves her more than ever, or living in an apartment with few prospects for remarriage, while hubby drives his little red sports car with wife number two? If you can truly forgive, and not become bitter, it's a no-brainer. If you're bitter, it's best to move out. And, yes, women have affairs as well.
From what I've seen, I think you're right. Once the vows are broken because one spouse strayed the other is usually a sucker if they stay. They are being exposed to deadly diseases, they risk losing their fertility. A cheater rarely reforms especially if they know they can get by with it. Often the cheater prefers to stay married because they haven't yet found what they're looking for, they'll keep looking until they find it.