Posted on 11/06/2001 11:56:47 AM PST by Cicero
Microsoft Haikus
In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with Haiku poetry messages. Haiku poetry has strict construction rules - each poem has only 17 syllables; 5; syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third. They are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning and powerful insight through extreme brevity. The essence of Zen:
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
--------------------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
----------------------------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------------------------
Windows NT crash'd.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No-one hears your screams.
-------------------------------------------------
Yesterday it work'd.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
-------------------------------------------------
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
------------------------------------------------
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
------------------------------------------------
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.
-------------------------------------------------
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
-----------------------------------------------
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
----------------------------------------------
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
-------------------------------------------------
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
------------------------------------------------
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
--------------------------------------------
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
-----------------------------------------------
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
(I did it! I think I did a real haiku! I counted it on my fingers...)
There was obviously a MAJOR screwup in the translation. What Micro$oft told the Japanese was grossly mistranslated. What M$ said was that "All error messages to the end user should effectively say F^CK YOU"... not haiku.
There. Had to get that straight. 8^)
Ignorant experts
Tell me to eat soup with fork.
The Microsoft way.
Bloatware is the way.
Ugly clip art adorns it,
When bankers design.
Boss thinks I've gone mad
Laughing like a lunatic
At MS haikus.
(You're right, these are cute.) I love making fun of Windows, though I'm compelled to aim my arrow at al queda swine.
Butterfly taps Windows
Mauna Loa programmer
Finds pillow quite hard
A cyclone stirs now
Heading for a spot
Lighting on moonbeams?
(I did it! I think I did a real haiku! I counted it on my fingers...)
Ha ha ha ha ha
CheneyChick still cannot count
She's one finger short
Your post is quite nice. But winter winds cut to bone. While TRASH FLAMES always warm.
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