In My Tribe (For the 20-something FReepers)

NY Times ^ | 10/14/01 | Ethan Walker

[thefactor]

How about that? This is a little contrived, but it makes some good points about my group and our mentality. I am 25 and marriage is nowhere in my future. I am in NYC and would like to get some perspectives from others around my age group throughout the US.

[geaux]

I don't think "never married" carries a negative connotation. I'd much rather be "never married" than "divorcee."

[jgrubbs]

I guess I'm odd, I'm a 25 year old conservative, married and have two children.

[thefactor]

I think it still goes by geographic local. There aren't too many 25 year-olds in NYC that I know who are married. But I spent a summer out west in Idaho and there were tons of kids younger than me who were married with children. Not better or worse, just different. It's fascinating how different people of our ages are when we are only separated by a few hundred miles or so. I do know that if I find the girl of my dreams tomorrow and it works out, then I would have no problem getting married. It is just hard to do that in my living situation right now.

[Alberta's Child]

I belong to two tribes: Work Tribe (close friends from work) and Hockey Tribe (an outlandish array of individuals who never would have met each other under any other circumstances).

And I can't stand "Seinfeld" and "Friends," either.

[thefactor]

I come from a family of divorcees. A lot of kids my age do. I think that also has an effect. We do not want to go through what our parents went through. Nor do we want to put our kids through the things we went through.

[isthisnickcool]

I'm sure Rutgers will soon release a study of the urination habits of small dogs. Squatting or lifting the leg? Why do they squat? Or lift instead? People want to know. But the dogs don't seem to care.....

[jmc813]

Very interesting. I'm 25 and figure I've got at least five or so more years of freedom. On a side note, all you 20-something Freepers out there, do most of your friends think you're nuts for being so interested in politics/current events? Mine certainly do. In fact, the only friend of mine who I can have a decent political conversation with is eight years my senior.

[LibertyGirl77]

Well, I'm in my twenties and not a big fan of the prevalent 'tribe' culture. Frankly, I'd like to be married right about now. Nothing, not even the best friends in the world, can take the place of that sacred bond. Kids would be nice, too.

[AzSteven]

I guess I'm odd, I'm a 25 year old conservative, married and have two children.

Nope - you are just fortunate. And smart, based on the conservative appelation.

Maybe its selfishness or pickiness, or just foolishness, but like the author, I am looking for a 'soul-mate'. Unfortunately, conservative values are so degraded in our society that it is often difficult to find a like-minded person in day-to-day life, as most of us are either brainwashed into nanny-state liberalism or unwilling to reveal our conservative nature for fear of getting 'the lecture' once again.

Of course, sometimes the hunt is enjoyable too...

[My Favorite Headache]

27, single father, never married, Catholic, Republican,Floridian. Ok I will ask again...who is going to open the Freerepublic dating service?

[ctdonath2]

A significant factor is the social norm of getting higher education and landing a career before getting hitched. I waited 6 years for my beloved to get her Ph.D., and when she finally got it, she coincidentally got her dream-job offer the same time as my marriage offer...and the two were not compatible. She chose the former. Now I'm 33 with few romantic prospects.

Rather than building one's career around a spouse, our late-marriage society encourages us to build a spouse around a career. That just ain't right.

[paul51]

25 is not 'never married'. It's too young to be married for many people.

[ctdonath2]

Question is, how should it be operated?

[ctdonath2]

While I understand that sentiment, and it reflects poorly on our culture, at 33 I'm increasingly of the opinion that early-to-mid 20s is ideal marriage time: still undeveloped enough that a couple can (with proper values) develop to fit each other better, in contrast to 30somethings who are pretty set in their ways.

[SoDak]

I'm 36 and 'never married' in a smaller city and I have a lot of friends that are the same. I don't see any conspiracy to avoid it, it's just not happened. Of course my mom and sister repeatedly try to fix the problem.

[Benson_Carter]

I'm 21, from Rochester. It's hard being single and conservative. Girls these days are either defeminized or horrible liberal, and the good ones are either already married or are in serious long-term relationships.

as to the tribe mentality? I think it holds true to a certain extent; I personally have a close group of friends, mostly singles (guys and girls) who are like family.

everyone says that all hope is not yet lost. I'm only 21. you're only 25. 25 really isn't that old.

[thefactor]

Totally! I told them I was going to the young Repubbies talk and then out with some FReepers and they thought (still think) I was nuts. I don't necessarily NEED a conservative girl. Just one who can hold an intelligent conversation and doesn't care about my annual salary more than I do.

[Benson_Carter]

we need beer. too bad I almost drowned myself last night and I'm still recovering.

hrmmm

[testforecho]

On a side note, all you 20-something Freepers out there, do most of your friends think you're nuts for being so interested in politics/current events?

No, but then I live in D.C.