They'd make Osama an offer he can't refuse

Chicago Tribune ^ | October 23, 2001 | John Kass

[WhiteKnuckles]

Osama bin Laden--or Sammy, if you prefer--must know by now he's a wanted man.

If he didn't know, he should have read the headline in Monday's Tribune: "CIA gets OK to kill bin Laden."

If he's still alive, Sammy could be hiding in Afghanistan, eating sardines in a cave, licking the moisture from stones, preparing his escape.

Perhaps he could just slip on one of those burquas that Afghan women are forced to wear. But dressed as an Afghan woman, Sammy would have to develop that involuntary flinch to be convincing.

[WhiteKnuckles]

We don't martyr Sammy. We Jimmy Hoffa the guy

Hmmmm ... Jimmy Hoffa, eh?

I was thinking more along the lines of Che Guevara. Oh well, either one works for me.

[anGOREy]

He must die. After he is dead his head should be delivered to Sadam with his b?lls sewn in his mouth. His arms should be sent to Ghaddafi & The idiot in Syria. His legs to Arafat and whoever runs Yemen. His torso should be delivered to the rulers of Saudia Arabia. Not a word should be said to the public about what happened to him. simple!

[WhiteKnuckles]

I like the way you think!

[Silly]

After he is dead his head should be delivered to Sadam with his b?lls sewn in his mouth. His arms should be sent to Ghaddafi & The idiot in Syria. His legs to Arafat and whoever runs Yemen. His torso should be delivered to the rulers of Saudia Arabia.

All wrapped up in a big red bow.

[deathtoallterrorists]

I REALLY like your idea.

[Logic n' Reason]

Here's a neat idea. After capture, we tie him into the driver seat of a "Northern Alliance" jeep. Set up the jeep for remote control. Have the jeep lead a "charge" straight into the remainder of the Taliban forces in the north. They blow up the jeep and go out to find their revered leader deader 'n a smoked herring! Logic 'n Reason

[tractorman]

Don't forget to mix in a bunch of pig guts.
That way they lose their holy war according to their own beliefs.

[Redbob]

"All wrapped up in a big red bow."??

How about all wrapped up in a pigskin?

[Stand Watch Listen]

[Dan Day]

Then it hit me. We don't martyr Sammy. We Jimmy Hoffa the guy.

Hell, I've been saying that for *weeks* now, in exactly those words.

[WhiteKnuckles]

LOL! Nice cartoon. Hope they don't forget to sprinkle some anthrax on it ...

[BulletBras]

Hannibal-ize bin Laden.

Remember the movie Hannibal? All sorts of nasty hogs with big teeth that could rip a guy to bits in less than a minute. "Nibble nibble" from toe to head.

This of course after he knows he's been injected with bacon grease.

[BulletBras]

Too quick.

[WhiteKnuckles]

SONNY: (unwrapping the package of Luca's bulletproof vest-wrapped fish]

What the hell is this?

CLEMENZA: It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes

From "The Godfather"

[KC Burke]

Better yet then, a package with a Pig in it.

Bin Laden sleeps with the pigs.

I have a freind with a hog feeding operation in Iowa. The effluent pit has a soft clay bottom. Osama could drink for all eternity.

[WhiteKnuckles]

OR they can drug OBL, crack his head open and feed him his own brains. After frying in bacon greese, of course.