Posted on 10/19/2001 12:28:18 PM PDT by vannrox
Pick one!
You might be a little TOO Hooah if...
Ranger vs Special Forces Organizations
McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card
The 25 Commandments of Operational Security
(also known as "The SAS Guide to OPSEC")
Courtesy of www.specialoperations.comSpecial Ops and Military Humor The 25 Commandments of Operational Security (also known as "The SAS Guide to OPSEC") I. Thou shalt not park thy helicopter in the open, for it bringeth the rain of steel. II. Thou shalt not expose thy shiny mess gear, for it bringeth unwanted guests to chow. III. Thou shalt not wear white T-shirts, or thine enemies will dye them red. IV. Thou shalt provide overhead concealment, for thine enemies' eyes are upon thee. V. Thou shalt cover thy tall antenna, for fly swatters groweth not in yon wood. VI. Thou shalt use a red lens on thy flashlight, or it shall appear as a star in the East. VII. Thou shalt cover the glass on thy vehicle, for the glare telleth thine enemy thy location. VIII. Thou shalt blend with thy surroundings, for trees groweth not in yon desert. IX. Thou shalt cover the tracks of thy vehicle, for they draweth pretty pictures. X. Thou shalt cover thy face, hands, and helmet, for thine enemies maketh war not on bushes. XI. Thou shalt not drape thy net on thy tent, for it looketh like tent draped in net. XII. Thou shalt hide the wires of thy cammo, for they pointeth to thee. XIII. Thou shalt practice the art of dispersion, or one round will finish you all. XIV. Thou shalt pick up thy trash and litter, for they exposeth thy presence. XV. Thou shalt conceal the noise of thy generator, for thine enemies are listening.
You might be a little TOO Hooah if...
You might be a little TOO Hooah if...
Your kids call the sandbox "NTC".
Your wife has mermites in the China Cabinet.
Your older kids call the youngest one "Cherry".
When your wife left you, you had a Change of Command.
Your wife carries a buttpack instead of a Gucci purse.
Your kids would rather get SIMNET than Nintendo 64.
When your family gets together, you call them "Slice Elements".
You butter your toast with a bayonet.
If your kids get a wrong answer in school they immediately drop and knock out 20.
Your personal license plate says "At Ease".
All of your kids' names begin with "AR".
Your grandmother won the Week of the Eagles.
Your POV has your name stenciled on the windshield.
Anyone using the TV remote control must dispatch it first.
Your kids are hand receipt holders.
Your kids practice Drill and Ceremony at recess.
Your dog's name is "Ranger".
Your kids pull night guard shifts by the mailbox.
Your wife has a better high and tight than your commander.
Your kids sound off with "Airborne" or "Air Assault" every time their left foot hits the ground.
Your wife won't buy anything unless it has a National Stock Number.
Your kids have to wax and buff the floor before going to school.
When your dog died, he got a 21-gun salute at Arlington.
Your kids call their teachers "REMFs" and the other kids at school "legs."
Your daughter's dolls wear starched uniforms.
Your daughter complained that her new Barbie's hair wasn't within regulation and then cut it.
If your kids fail a test, they get a Letter of Reprimand and an Article 15.
Your kids salute their grandparents.
Your kids get an LES with their allowance.
All your meals at home are MREs.
Your kids painted their Big Wheels camouflage and stuck bumper numbers on them.
All your household possessions were issued by CIF.
Your kids get sent to the "big house" at Leavenworth if they're disrespectful.
Your kids complain if they can't have gym class five days a week.
Everyone does six pullups before sitting down at the dinner table.
Murphy's Laws of Combat - Complete List
Murphy's Laws of Combat - Complete List
If the enemy is in range, so are you.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
Automatic weapons --aren't.
Suppressive fire -- won't.
Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
There is always a way.
When in doubt, empty the magazine.
Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at
No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.
The easy way is always mined.
Beer math: two beers times 37 men equal 49 cases.
Body count math: two guerillas plus one portable plus two pigs equal 37 enemy KIA.
Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.
Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
Anything you do can get you shot, including doing nothing.
Tracers work both ways.
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: (a) when you're ready for them and (b) when you're not ready for them.
Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.
The important things are always simple.
The simple things are always hard.
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.
Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.
Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.
If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your fair share of objectives to take.
When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.
Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
Murphy was a grunt.
Furry's Rules For Survival Major Ambler Furry's Rules For Survival
These collected sayings aren't the sole product of Maj.Furry, USAF,
but the distilled wisdom of men who have fought in combat since time immemorial.
Almost certainly these sayings existed in a well-developed form when the Egyptians first fought the Hittittes.
Finally it is important to note that the order is insignificant, Whichever rule applies to the situation best is NO 1.
1)Always remember your jet was made by the lowest bidder.
2)Train like you plan to fight.
3)If you're up to your eyeballs in Gomers (enemies, I think), you're in combat.
4)When in doubt, use industrial strength deterrence.
5)Never fly in the same cockpit with someone who is braver than you.
6)Priorities are man-made not God-made.
7)A plan never survives the first thirty seconds of combat.
8)If it's stupid but works, it ain't stupid.
9)Only turn to blow the opposition away;otherwise, run away and fight another guy.
10)Always honour a threat.
11)Know the opposition.
12)Know when it's time to get out of Dodge.
13)Always know how to get out of Dodge.
14)The important things are always simple.
15)The simple things are always hard.
Ranger vs Special Forces Organizations Ranger vs Special Forces Organizations The Chief of Staff of the Army asked his Sergeant Major, who was both Ranger and Special Forces qualified, which organization he would recommend to form a new anti-terrorist unit. The Sergeant Major responded to the General's question with this parable: If there were a hijacked DELTA 747 being held by terrorists along with its passengers and crew and an anti-terrorist unit formed either by the Rangers or the Special Forces was given a Rescue/Recovery Mission; what would you expect to happen? Ranger Option Forces/Equipment Committed: If the Rangers went in, they would send a Ranger company of 120 men with standard army issue equipment. Mission Preparation: The Ranger Company First Sergeant would conduct a Hair Cut and boots inspection. Infiltration Technique: They would insist on double timing, in company formation, wearing their combat equipment, and singing Jody cadence all the way to the site of the hijacked aircraft. Actions in the Objective Area: Once they arrived, the Ranger company would establish their ORP, put out security elements, conduct a leaders recon, reapply their face cammo, and conduct final preparations for Actions on the OBJ. Results of Operation: The Rescue/Recovery Operation would be completed within one hour; all of the terrorists and most of the passengers would have been killed, the Rangers would have sustained light casualties and the DELTA 747 probably would be worthless to anyone except a scrap dealer. Special Forces Option Forces/Equipment Committed: If Special Forces went in, they would send only a 12 man team (all SF units are divisible by 12 for some arcane historical reason) however, due to the exotic nature of their equipment the SF Team would cost the same amount to deploy as the Ranger Company. Mission Preparation: The SF Team Sergeant would request relaxed grooming standards for the team. Infiltration Technique: The team would insist on separate travel orders with Max Per Diem, and each would get to the site of the hijacking by his own means. At least one third of the team would insist on jumping in. Actions in the Objective Area: Once they arrived , the SF Team would cache their military uniforms, establish a Team Room, use their illegal Team Fund to stock the unauthorized Team Room Bar, check out the situation by talking to the locals, and have a Team Meeting to discuss the merits of the terrorists' cause. Results of Operation: The Rescue/Recovery Operation would take two weeks to complete and by that time all of the terrorists would have been killed, (and would have left signed confessions); most of the passengers would be ruined psychologically for the remainder of their lives; and all of the women passengers would be pregnant. The DELTA 747 would be essentially unharmed, the team would have taken no casualties but would have used up, lost or stolen all the "high speed" equipment issued to them.
GI HUMOR - Army Slogans that didn't make it
An old thread with a whole lot of good military humor.
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