And in other news, the United States Air Force notified the New York Post that a C-17 Globemaster III mistakenly dropped its full payload of fresh, moist elephant dung on a residence in Portland, Maine. USAF representatives said the dung was being brought in for testing as a possible supplement to the munitions being used in Afghanistan.
Portland officials could not comment on whether or not the resident, Isanu Dyson, had survived the burial, but assured the Post that he "wasn't worth digging through the sh*t to find."
You got the story wrong. It was PIG shit.