Skip to comments.Reclaiming Male Power In The Viagra Age
Posted on 10/12/2001 9:40:02 AM PDT by Starmaker
You´ve heard of the Stone Age, the Iron Age and the Information Age. This is the Viagra Age the era of male impotence. Television commercials say that 1/3 of all men suffer from erectile deficiency attributed to high blood pressure, prostate cancer, or diabetes. I suspect that, often, the culprit is feminism. Women should empower men but for a long time they have been doing just the opposite. Instead of taking the little blue pill, men need to reclaim their masculine power.
When there is a war raging in Afghanistan, why am I talking about male impotence? Because the rift between men and women is sapping the power of our civilization. What affects male power affects the war effort. The former first family is an excellent example. Bill Clinton spent more than a year fighting impeachment for the Lewinsky affair when he should have been concentrating on issues like terrorism. Without excusing his behavior, it was caused by the fact that his marriage was unsatisfactory. Unlike Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton was not her husband´s haven and support. An independent woman, Hillary pursued power for herself; she was her husband´s rival.
Feminism has created a power struggle as women covet the male role and want men to take the female one. A friend describes his married friends as wolves circling one another. The problem is always the same: women want to supplant their husbands. In the workplace, a man can accept leadership from a competent woman. But in the intimate sphere, a man who takes orders from a woman is not a man, and usually can´t perform like one. He sees his mother and feels like a child again.
Power is synonymous with masculine identity. Impotence literally means powerless. We would never say a woman is impotent. Rather, she is infertile or frigid.
I felt liberated when I finally understood that having the power is what being a man is all about. I decided to look abroad for a traditional woman. After a misstep in the Philippines (described in my book A Long Way to go for a Date), I married an educated, intelligent Mexican woman from a Jewish background similar to my own. For the first time in my life, I have found happiness and so has she. We have an almost frictionless relationship. She tells me what she´s thinking but she never tells me what to do. She never complains, and she never criticizes. In the past, women constantly blackmailed me by making childish scenes. I still find myself cringing in expectation of this. I do all the shopping and cooking so don´t mistake my relationship as rigid. I do my best to make her happy and I succeed.
The gesture of a man opening a door for a woman illustrates how men and women should relate. We all know a woman can open a door herself. But when a man does it, he is affirming her femininity, beauty or charm. When she accepts this gesture, she is validating his masculine power. This trade, woman surrendering her power in exchange for man´s love, is the essence of heterosexuality. In order to develop emotionally, men and women need this mutual validation as much as sex itself. Sex is an expression of it.
Under the toxic influence of feminism, women open their own doors. Neither sex is validated, neither matures emotionally. Men feel redundant and impotent; women feel rejected and unsexed.
The following are some practical advice to help men restore their power.
The best way to select a woman is to make a demand. If she clicks her heels, salutes and says, Oui, mon Capitain, she´s eligible. On a summer day, I met a young woman who was rollerblading. I asked her to take off her sunglasses so I could see her face. She obeyed. That was a positive early sign. Courtship is the process by which a man earns a woman´s trust (love) so that she will accept his leadership. Men express love in terms of benevolent power and perceive women´s love as her acceptance of his protection. Similarly, women want a man to make her feel secure.
Feminism misleads men to pursue independent women and to reject the women they actually need. If a woman wants to be independent, she doesn´t want you. If her ad says Are you man enough for me? or I´m high maintenance, decline the challenge. Life is too short. Marriage is not about independence. It is about two people becoming one and that only happens when a woman surrenders to a man. Men should focus on women who look up to and empower them. If you´re looking for your equal you´re probably still looking for yourself.
Men give their power to a woman in hopes of getting love, sex and beauty. For a while she is flattered, but ultimately she cannot respect a man she can control. She wants to be enlisted not petitioned. She wants a man to have a wholesome vision of his life, in which she has an essential place. This vision need not be elaborate or complicated. It could involve a life focused on mutual values and interests, like children, music, church, or the outdoors.
There is a book entitled: Why do I Think I am Nothing Without a Man (1982) The author, Dr. Penelope Russianoff, tries to help women overcome this feeling. The truth is, this feeling is grounded in reality. Self-fulfillment for a woman is when the self is her husband and children. Women are G-d´s creatures, they self sacrifice and serve; in return, they are deservedly cherished. If the self is her personal satisfaction and career, she is already full and filled. Her husband and children are secondary.
A man wouldn´t be attracted to so many beautiful women if he asked, to which woman can I entrust my spirit? Similarly, the sex act is very invasive for a woman. The man´s spirit invades her being. She is empty and receptive. At the same time as he takes her in his arms, she gives him emotional and spiritual protection. He expands into the space she creates by her acceptance. A man and a woman are like a sword in a sheath. He strengthens her. She shelters him. They become one.
In conclusion, a man can reclaim his identity by recognizing that his power is non-negotiable. It is his spirit and the essence of his masculinity. A man should focus on finding a woman who is receptive to him. She may be behind a counter rather than an executive desk. The key for men is to be aggressive and quickly sift without concern for rejection. He must be prepared to offer the right woman a profound relationship. She is not interested in hooking up. Single men are so passive and juvenile that single women today are climbing the walls.
Men and women could be equal and open their own doors. But, when men open doors for women, it affirms them both, and represents something higher and infinitely better.
I can see why the few women who are true feminists could cause problems for their husbands, but most feminists are not married, not to men anyway! As we age the sex drive drops in men and women.
People are living longer and trying to hold on to their youth through drugs and plastic surgery!
I prefer to age gracefully, although I do work out at the gym with my husband, and NO I don't bulk up, we are just trying to keep our lungs and hearts healthier as we age together. HE is looking MARVELOUS! I just look OLD, sigh..... (In our fifties now)
I have been a very happily married woman since December of 1966. I express my thoughts and feelings to my husband, but he is the leader of our little ship, and he knows how much I trust and depend on him.
I am an opnionated woman, but feel safe in expressing my opinion to him, as we both know he will listen to whatever makes sense, be gentle with the rest, and make good decisions for both of us...
There is a reason for the equal but differentiated powers of men and women, and true love comes when each recognizes the different strengths brought to the relationship, celebrates them, and expresses total appreciation and love. He truly appreciates the areas of my unique feminine strength, and lets me know every day that he would be lost in life without what I have brought to the relationship.
I, on the other hand, wouldn't have been able to express those strengths without his love, protection, and courage... and he knows that he, by his efforts and protection, has made our life truly blessed...
I might add, the longer you are in a marriage, the more you understand how much each brings to the other, and the more fun it gets to be...
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