Posted on 10/10/2001 11:45:06 AM PDT by Gargantua
Myself, I plan to be in the French Quarter that weekend. No self-respecting Taliban terrorist would be anywhere near that den of iniquity on Halloween...
Wouldn't "trouser jockey" be more original? If you're going to get yourself banned for name calling, please make it more entertaining for the rest of us.
Look what came in my e-mail box a couple of weeks ago:
My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is so sad is because I'm so sick. I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us having no money or insurance.
I would like to have a body transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said nobody hires crying people. I said,"Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad.
I hope you will help me. You can help me if you forward this email to very one you know. Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them up into space so that the angels can hear them better.
Then they will come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me get better then.
Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right now I can only be third base. Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.
Please help me.
Mommy is so sad, and I want a body.
I don't want my leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die a long, slow, horrible death and then burn forever in hell. What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin' minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap body. I wish that very much.
Thank You,
Billy "Smiley" Evans
A little humor break here folks, no offense intended.
MKM
I'm going to see if I can pass this on to my gullible friends who send me this kind of stuff... let's see how long it takes to get back here...
When it accidentally called out your name.
(Slip, this one is for your archives.)
;>)
Eaker
PJ, the comic strip is excellent. Everyone should read it.
All Saints' Day is the day after Halloween, thank goodness.
Hey, I've never met you, either- but I also think that posting silly Internet hoaxes is pretty much a waste of everyone's time- and "dumb", to boot. By the way, I could make up a better hoax than this- this one is so obviously phony it's pitiful.
The Orange county office of Volt confirmed that Laura Katsis works there, the authorities have been alerted, and that is all they are allowed to say.
Regardless of the accuracy of this letter, in light of the anthrax in Florida, we should cancel Halloween this year. The practice of allowing our kids to accept free candy from strangers is ill advised while we are at war with these cowards. Think about the reference by bin Laden in his last video to the millions of children in Iraq that the U.S. killed. This all keeps getting back to Iraq.
American Airline's 767's were used in CRAF missions to transport U.S. troops to Saudi Arabia for Desert Storm. I do not know what other airlines participated, but if United was the only other participant in the CRAF missions it would be an interesting coincidence.
Yes, Jack Chick is certainly the pre-eminent theologian of our time. Thanx to him we now know the true dangerous nature of Halloween. The thing I like about Jack Chick is how thoroughly he researches his subjects and presents the subtle complexities involved.
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