The Old Testament isn't so pretty itself.
People in glass houses...
A number of verses in the OT are quite disturbing to a peace loving character who hates to harm furry critters even for needed food.
But there is a majesty and an authority that commands some kind of respect and awe. AND it is MUCH CLOSER to the midset, the idiom, the gestalt, the perspectives of the Middle Eastern cultures--even of most Asian oriental cultures than the NT.
And, I don't really think Almighty God needs apology. He IS what He IS. Thankfully, MERCY triumphs over judgment.
But He is not the Almighty Woosse.
He IS ALMIGHTY GOD! And there are/can be some very stark implications of that. Even Christ says those who won't fall on Him and be broken--as in of broken and contrite, humble heart--will be CRUSHED under Him.
These are realities that cultures closer to the nitty gritties of life seem to understand and accept much more clearly and readily than our own.
Comparatively, we seem to live in a kind of denial, cotton-candy lala land. . . . of denial and unreality.
I don't think there is a pat answer to the problem you articulate. I think we have to be led of His Spirit and trust that He will work things out individually for all who seek to know Him in spirit and truth.
HE declares that those who seek Him SHALL find Him.
Appreciated your comment.