Posted on 09/23/2001 4:52:42 PM PDT by f.Christian
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS -
MAKE IT GO AWAY! ©
by Norman Liebmann
There is no limit to the things people of meager intelligence can dream up when they misapply themselves. It was once thought nothing you could wear on your head would make you look dumber than the plastic shower cap - until someone came up with the bicycle helmet. A shower cap will at least keep your dandruff dry. In an altercation with a Greyhound Scenicruiser, I suspect a bicycle helmet will protect a bicyclist's head about as effectively as a hairnet.
Along those lines, it was decided there was an urgent need to keep capable people from inadvertently offending the delicate sensibilities of dolts by adopting a self-imposed code of good natured restraint - that would enable them to endure their political and cultural suffocation with a smile. (It did not specify how difficult it is to be mindful of the sensibilities of a group whose language consists at least sixty percent of the words "baby, baby, baby.")
Nevertheless, the liberal establishment birthed a grotesque semantic dwarf called Political Correctness, a minorityist compendium of Nitwit Nuremberg Laws. It is a language of anti-communication, a kind of retarded Esperanto, and a code of behavior that contradicts itself on both a frequent and irregular basis - like a neurotic traffic light. It has contorted the English language sufficiently to support the assumption that when anything intelligent is uttered, it is bound to be unintentional. George Orwell's insidious doublethink had some sophistication to it. Political Correctness is just a jollying-along "happy-talk." A more accurate term for it would be "crap-speak." At all events, political correctness is in full flower, and 1984 is back in town.
FDR's New Deal gave many Americans a tin cup mentality, indoctrinated minorities in the dogma - in weakness there is strength - and that the "poor me" mindset is where the easy money is. These volunteer victims swept their needs and vulnerabilities into a pile, challenged the rest of America to console them crooning "there, there - now, now", and see if they could blackmail the middle class into an extended program of breast feeding them, however undeserved.
Thus, political correctness has given the downbeat for what has become a symphony of allergic reactions and rubbed raw sensibilities. For example, it is insensitive to describe a person as short when you can say, "He towers under people" - or - "He's well over four feet tall." Indeed, it would be more charitable to deport short people to Munchkinland where they can describe themselves as "average in stature."
The presumption is that the ignorant, the greedy, the horny and the affected elite (journalists) want to impose canons that, metaphorically, prevent lapdogs from getting their fur stroked against the grain. (Worthy of inclusion in this group are Hollywood stars, the clergy of Liberalism-West. Recent public utterances by Susan Sarandon and the Baldwin brothers remind me, in my many years working in the studios I never heard anyone accuse an actor of being intelligent.)
Ironically, political correctness is in itself so abrasive it inflames the social rash it was designed to soothe and left group psyches even more tender. Sufferers have turned for help to such institutions as The New Jersey State Home for the Ever-So-Touchy where they go to lick their psychological wounds and watch each other's lower lips tremble.
Political correctness ordains, certain groups are not to be offended by word, deed, or implication, nor have pointed references made to their poverty of intellect or character. This process requires purging the memory banks of the majority of any joke that begins, "There was an Irishman, an Italian and a Jew." (It is politically correct to use that phrase in a joke only if the joke isn’t funny.)
We are being led in this march toward rectitude by the Adolescent-in-Chief, Bill Clinton, the boy Bolshevik, the Andy Hardy of leftist fascism, who any priest would find a virtual El Dorado of impure thoughts. Fortunately the confessional has no sink into which at the end of Bubba's lurid confession, he can "finish himself off." Presumably this turpitude is what has made him the idol of the recipient and intellectually depleted classes.
This rigid code has crept into the fabric of everyday existence. Even the game of Monopoly has been decreed politically incorrect. It has been replaced by a game called Inner City Monopoly. It still has a penalty square designated "JAIL", but if your token lands on it, you collect $200 and go directly on Parole.
The Clinton Administration has suggested the politically correct sport of Midnight Hockey, be played on black ice so it will not be noticeable, ill-equipped teams from disadvantaged communities are forced to play without a puck.
Since New Yorker Magazine writer, Toni Morrison, asserted Clinton is the first black President, on politically correct applications for employment that ask your race, you may now check one of the following:
[] black
[] white
[] same as Bill Clinton.
(Many liberals find it politically dégagé when asked "what race?", they frequently answer, "Not necessarily white.")
It is politically correct to discuss racism, but politically incorrect to discuss race. (Say, what?) No profitable dialogue about race can take place since proponents of political correctness defecated in the English language and, here and now, as Alice learned in Wonderland, words mean what chimerical creatures intend them to mean - no more and no less. Political correctness has no substance, therefore, trying to understand its logic is like trying to nail Jell-O to a wall. Nevertheless, here are some P.C paradoxes that may enhance the general confusion:
POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: WHAT IT IS - WHAT IT AIN'T
It is politically correct to say Joe Lieberman is Jewish, but politically incorrect to say Joe Lieberman looks Jewish.
It is politically correct for a male homosexual accused of a sex offense to go to court and enter a plea of "whoops!"
It is politically correct to be tolerant of another person's religion - as long as he doesn’t practice it.
It is politically incorrect to say Bill Clinton is a rapist. The White House prefers to say, Bill Clinton is "sexually enterprising."
It is politically correct to say the word "woman", and politically correct to say the word "driver", but politically incorrect to say them in quick succession. Feminists say it is politically correct to treat women as an endangered species, which provokes them to act like an endangering species.
It is politically incorrect to say a man's member is short. It is politically correct to say he appears to be standing too close to his penis.
On an employment application it is politically correct to state your gender - if you happen to know it.
It is political incorrect to refer to a depressed area as a slum. It is politically correct to refer to it as "the inner city", which sounds like a classier place to get mugged.
It is politically incorrect to ask a pharmacist for contraceptive jelly by the term "social mayonnaise."
It is politically incorrect to do one's shopping before the stores are open, unless you are trying to hold up your end in a race riot.
It is politically incorrect to say Teddy Kennedy was responsible for the underwater mishap that drowned Mary Jo Kopechne. The politically correct version of the "accident": while driving underwater Kennedy's car was rear-ended by a halibut.
It is politically incorrect to say Bill Clinton snorts cocaine. It is politically correct to say that stuff he's putting up his noise is Colombian neosynepherine.
It is politically incorrect to call people who are quadriplegics cripples. Liberals have made it politically correct to go along with Barbra Streisand in calling them "people who need people."
Feminists have declared it politically incorrect to refer to their sexual opposites as "men", but politically correct to refer to them as "sperm applicators."
While legally punctilious, it is politically incorrect to call murderers and rapists at San Quentin "inmates." It is politically correct to refer to them as "the in-crowd."
It is politically correct to discuss homosexuality. It is politically incorrect to discuss it without an accredited card-carrying pervert present.
It is politically correct for an actress to have an abortion. It is politically incorrect for her to appear in a Broadway musical the critics have described using that same word.
It is politically incorrect to say an Irishman likes to drink. It is politically correct to lift an Irishman up off the ground, lean him against a wall, and tell him he's sober as a judge.
It is politically incorrect to refer to Polish persons as Polacks. It is politically correct to refer to them by the "P" word, except in a place where it can cause confusion - like a beer bar.
It is politically incorrect to tell people who live in Vermont, homosexuality was tried by the dinosaurs, as a result of which they ain't around anymore - even in Vermont where the line between diversity and depravity has grown exceedingly indistinct. Equally, it is politically incorrect to remind Vermont gays they are doing the same things with their mouths as goldfish. They know it.
[Note: The nightmare of the homosexual in making his preference a matter of public record has been to find out nobody gives a shit. It is anticipated gays will soon have to go door-to-door distributing leaflets stating their sexual preference, their "specialty", and their "office hours."]
It is politically incorrect to specify people of the dusky persuasion as blacks, Negroes, Coloreds, Afro-Americans, Ethiopes, "Homiez", "N-words" - as these sobriquets are likely to be replaced by a new designation within the next twenty minutes.
It is politically incorrect to insult lawyers - and fun.
It is politically incorrect to call Rosie O'Donnell "fat." It is politically correct to describe her as being "in blubber-surfeit."
It is politically incorrect to call people old, when you can get that same idea across gently by telling them, at their age it's not a good idea to buy any extended-play cassettes. While it is politically incorrect to call a person "old", it is politically correct to refer to him as "elderly." Accordingly, after he passes on, it is politically incorrect to refer to him as "dead." It is politically correct to refer to him as "dead-erly."
Because men have sustained so many casualties in the battle of the sexes, It has become politically correct among them to get a feminist's attention by shouting, "Hey, you bitch!" It is still politically incorrect to attempt to get a feminist's attention by saying, "Hey, you rat bitch!"
Political correctness is a spreading infection of totalitarianism. Its principal symptoms are diarrhea of the mouth resulting from constipation of the brain. It is the entry-level drug for fascism addiction, a tool to propagate cultural barbarity, a road map to helplessness, and the quickest way to develop a case of intellectual hemorrhoids. Its capacity to inspire conformity has already turned America's inner cities into ant farms, and the residents appear to be loving every minute of it. Political correctness is an intellectual condom that keeps intelligent thoughts from copulating and reproducing other intelligent thoughts. Civilization is being sucked down into this vortex of political correctness. In a better-disposed time, numskulls and malcontents who struck out in life were considerate enough to join the French Foreign Legion. Nowadays, they go on welfare.
***
That about says it all.
sorry I mispelled vintage twice!
Yeah, "Midnight Hockey(education/culture)"---without a puck--brain---"black ice"(evolution) too!
No, "Midafternoon Volleyball(cauliflower/butter)"---with a net--gain---"green cheese"(revolution) now!
My sentence didn't make any sense?
I think you mean numb skulls.
Browse the words alphabetically around "numskull (numbskull)"
See entries that contain "numskull (numbskull)"
Syllables: num-skull (numb-skull)
Part of Speech noun
Pronunciation nuhm skuhl
Definition 1. a stupid or foolish person; blockhead; dunce.
Crossref. Syn. fool , nincompoop , dolt , sap , ass , dullard , idiot , simpleton , moron , half-wit , blockhead , dunce
Related Words imbecile , clod , half-wit , oaf
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so the great dane goes 1st--pupus--crackers--liver--cheese---you are my appetizer--dessert we are all rolled into one my cupcake--tea!
Can't sing--can't dance--get lost!
The pit bull was next...liver--cheese my lamb chop--I'm going to crunch your bones!!
Never mind--you scare me!
The chiwowa was next---"Liever the bitch alone---cheeze with me"...got the hot mexican date with her!"
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