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What President Bush REALLY Wanted To Say.......
Email | 9/19/2001 | Unknown

Posted on 09/19/2001 10:35:02 AM PDT by SunStar

Good evening, my fellow americans,

First, I want to pass on my condolences to the people of New York and all americans that are hurting in this tragic time. You can rest assured that anything and everything that can be done to assure the safety of our country will be done. This is the greatest country in the world, and we will get through this trying time. Now is the time for all people to set aside our petty differences and show the world that no one or nothing can destroy the fortitude of the american people.

To the people responsible for todays tragedy, I say this:

Are you f****** kidding me? Are the turbans on your heads wrapped too tight? Have you gone too long without a bath? Do you not know who you are f****** with? Americans are so hungry to kill that we shoot at each other every day. We will relinquish that opportunity with out new targets for our aggression.

Have you forgotten history? What happened to the last people that started f****** around with us? Remember the little yellow bastards in Japan? We slapped them all over the Pacific and roasted about 2 million of them in their own backyard. Thats what we call in america a big-ass barbeque.

Ever seen Texas on a map? Ever wonder why its so big? Because we wanted it that way. Mexico started jacking around with the Alamo and now they cut our lawns. England? We sent them packing after we stuffed their teabags up their ass.

Ask your buddy Saddam about f****** with the good ole USA. The only reason he got away the first time is because its too hard to shoot someone when you are doubled over laughing at them. Our soldiers arent trained to laugh and shoot at the same time. Now, he couldnt stop a pack of cub scouts from taking over his s***** little country.

Trust us. Afghanistan will end up a giant kitty litter box. Go ahead and try to hide bin Laden. Theres not a hole deep enough or a mountain high enough thats going to keep you camel riding asses safe. We will bomb every inch of the country that harbors him, hi camps, and any place that looks or even smells like he was there.

Hell, we might even drop a few bombs on people that have pissed us off in the past. This is America. We kick ass. This is what we do. Go ahead and laugh now, but the Tomahawks are coming, and we will smoke your sorry asses.

God Bless America!

TOPICS: Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons

1 posted on 09/19/2001 10:35:02 AM PDT by SunStar
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To: SunStar
3 posted on 09/19/2001 10:42:06 AM PDT by Mel Gibson
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To: Angus_Day
I'm not about to waste a two million dollar missile on a ten dollar tent just to shoot a camel in the butt!

Yes, he said this at a defense briefing. It was reported by multiple sources. The great thing about that comment is that it had direct meaning to Clinton's "responses" to Bin Laden...

4 posted on 09/19/2001 10:42:53 AM PDT by SunStar
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To: SunStar
Does anybody have the quote from PJ O'Rourke's book "Holidays in Hell" handy? That one is just as good as this thread, but I don't have my book with me.

The quote pertains to what PJ told some pencil-necked Euro-Geek when he was told that Americans think war is like a John Wayne movie.

5 posted on 09/19/2001 10:46:10 AM PDT by BlueLancer
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To: SunStar
ROTFLMFAO! That's great! But I think Bush left out the weather forcast.

6 posted on 09/19/2001 10:55:11 AM PDT by oldvike
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To: BlueLancer
"That's what you were going to say, wasn't it? We think war is a John Wayne movie, -- with good guys and bad guys, as simple as that. Well, you know something, Mr. Limey Poofter? You're right. And let me tell you who the bad guys are. They're us. WE BE BAD.

"We're the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We're three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother's side. You take your Germany, France and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn't give us room to park our cars. We're the big boys, Jack, the original, giant economy size new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d'Antibes. And we've got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go.

"You say our country's never been invaded? You're right, little buddy. Because I'd like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who'd have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying 'Cheerio.' Hell can't hold our sock hops. We walk taller, spit farther, f**k longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I'd rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen and jack of all you Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and s**t them out before lunch."

(From Holidays In Hell, "Life Among The Euro-Weenies," by P. J. O'Rourke.)

Freedom, Wealth, and Peace,
Francis W. Porretto
Visit the Palace Of Reason:

7 posted on 09/19/2001 12:17:00 PM PDT by fporretto
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To: oldvike
Did someone say "weather forecast?" Weather report in Afghanistan: Sunny and very bright today with a high that could top 6000 degrees. Scattered mushroom clouds with a chance of fallout later in the day.
8 posted on 09/19/2001 12:40:43 PM PDT by HowlinMad
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To: fporretto
Thanks for the quote.
9 posted on 09/20/2001 4:28:30 AM PDT by BlueLancer
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To: guttersnipe
Ah, you found *MY* bomber! Isn't she pretty?
Barksdale AFB, Louisiana. B-52 maintenance mechanic, 2nd OMS, 1985-1988.
11 posted on 09/20/2001 5:43:49 AM PDT by petuniasevan
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To: Angus_Day
Bush said, "I'm not going to send a $2,000,000 missile against a $10 empty tent and hit some camel in the butt. It's going to be more decisive than that."

Newsweek article by Fineman.

12 posted on 09/20/2001 5:58:50 AM PDT by Not gonna take it anymore
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