Don't These Democrats Know a Sign From Heaven?

Don't these Democrats know Divine intervention when they see it? First Mel Carnhan crashes in bad weather, now Jean Carnahan's house is struck by lightning while she's inside.

Sen. Jean Carnahan's house caught fire last night after an apparent lightning strike while she was inside, but no one was injured, authorities said.

The fire broke out at about 9 p.m. at the Democratic lawmaker's home southwest of Rolla, the Phelps County Sheriff's Department and the Missouri Highway Patrol said. Three fire departments were fighting the blaze, officials said.

Here's how I picture it from any sports announcer; "God now leaves the on deck circle, and comes to the plate. Trying to keep up his perfect batting average. He doffs his hat to the crowd and points left feild. He takes a practice swing and a bolt of lightning hits Jean Carnahan's house. I sure hate to be in the way when he really starts swinging. Here's windup, and the pitch, God slams it out of the park. It sure looks like there will be no joy in libville tonight."

There's more to the story...

When firefighters arrived two 115 pound female firefighters struggled to unload a hose from the pumper and deploy it to bring water to bear on the Senatress's home. They were hampered in their efforts when the heavy hoses became helplessly snarled and knotted. It turns out they had been improperly stowed by a new firefighter who had been ordered hired by a judge even though he failed the civil service exam. His lawyer argued that he had attention to detail deficit syndrome (ADDS) and was covered under the Americans Imbelices the Rest of us Have to Evade And Detest (AIRHEAD) Act, a bill the Senatress's late husband had championed.

To make matters worse, when a volunteer fire company from a neighboring town (who are not subject to civil service restrictions) finally managed to deploy hoses, it seems the pressure to the local fire plugs had been turned off so as not to infer with the mating ritual of a rare variety of garden slug, the Missouri Brown Slotted Water Mains Slug, that makes its nest in fire mains. The visiting volunteers endeavored to pump water from a near-by pond but the local fire captain warned them they would have to get permission from the Army Corps of Engineers to "disturb" a "wetland". The local office of the Corps was closed for the night and only voice mail was available.

The sobbing Senatrix was heard screaming into her cell phone "Rumsfield, what the hell do mean you don't have the phone number for the local commander of the Corps of Engineers. If it were Ashcroft's house I bet you'd have that sad sack General out here with a watering can. DON'T YOU HANG UP ON ME! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! THE HELL WITH THE DAMN SNAILS PUT SOME F---ING WATER ON THAT DAMN FIRE!"

In a related story, Peter Lynch, candidate to fill the recently vacated seat in Massachusetts Ninth Congressional District commenting on the affair remarked, "If Joe Moakly were alive today he'd..."

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