LOL! If you do move eastward, you don't have to move to Newark. There are many nice suburbs in the area of the archdiocese.
I lived in the Camden diocese while in med school in Philly. We had a superb priest there who taught my wife's RCIA program. I attended them too, learned the faith there, having been taught post-Vatican II gibberish in 12 years of Catholic schools here. The priest that taught us now runs the Indult Latin Mass community in diocese of Camden. Great priest.
Oh, despite my own diocese's shortcomings, I love my mountains here in west central PA, and couldn't wait to return here from Philly/NJ. I couldn't go east again. Too scared of tsunamis.