I have been with my wife for 8 years. While most of the time we both believe that we are truly lucky to have each other, occasionally we have our differences. She was laid off from work 6 months ago, and had not looked for work. This had led to us having other problems stemming from this, and the results had been more arguments, lack of communication, resentment, etc...
She is very bad at fighting. She cannot argue constructively. She has a very bad temper and will do things that are deliberately destructive and hurtful to our relationship. Thankfully this happens rarely. However 3 weeks ago we were trying to discuss our difficulties. I told her how i felt about her not working, and other things. Her response was bad, and it started us to arguing. Over the course of a couple of hours we went from supposedly going to a movie to having a big fight. I finally went outside to cool off. When I was ready to come back in, she had locked me out. I got the spare key and opened the door. She stepped out and slugged me in the jaw. I saw red, and felt pure unadulterated anger. Trying to hold back and respond at the same time, I grabbed a handfull of hair and shoved her away from me. Unfortunately where we were at the time meant that she was shoved into the brick chimney. She hit her head, at which point all thought of our argument disappeared for me as I wanted to make sure she was ok. She started hollering and yelling that i was trying to kill her (not in a million years)and she wanted 911. I wasn't going to prevent her, but instead stood by while she called. Being that she isn't one that believes in 2nd amendment freedoms and the protection a firearm brings, she used this opportunity to throw in "and he has guns". (One of the earliest parts of our argument was her saying that unless that my family agreed to not have any guns at our planned Thanksgiving get-together at our ranch (where we were planning to deer hunt, as she well knew) she wasn't going to allow her kids to attend. I had thought we had agreed to disagree on guns, but she decided this was a chance for her to hurt me in another way)
So she leaves in the car, but only drives next door to wait. I hear the cops coming, and since I can see them thinking I'm some crazed guy with an arsenal I step out onto the front step to wait for them. They talk to her next door, where she admits she hit me, and I just pushed her. She again said something (the cops said, she says she didn't)about guns. The ambulance looks her over, and she later told me she tried to leave but they forced her to go to the hospital. The cops come over and talk to me, and I calmly relate what happened. I explained that my having a pistol was irrelevant, as the gun was not present in the fight, wasnt mentioned or used as a threat in any way. They said they still had to confiscate it, so I showed them where it was. They said I had to go to jail because of the complaint, but they let me dress appropriately and treated me respectfully. They also suggested that I bring enough cash to make bail, which I appreciated being that i'm not familiar with the justice system.
So I spend the night in jail, thinking that tomorrow I get out and she and I can use this as a cathartic moment to mark an end and to move forward. But no. I'm barred from my home. I'm let out of jail 20 miles away with no way to get anywhere. I cannot go get my car, my clothes, anything. I talk the local police into calling my wife and she agrees to bring some stuff to the police station. Luckily the police finally agreed to be that intermediary as what was I supposed to do without clothes to go to work? I am to be barred from my home or any contact with my wife for 2 months, until my court date. Luckily I am a person of some means so I am able to rent a car, afford a hotel, and buy some necessities. Of course my wife got the judge to remove the restrictions against us being together, but he would only grant those, not returning my firearm or some other violations of my rights as an accused, not convicted, person. We have worked out most of our differences. She is sorry for how she acted, and things are getting much better. Now the only obstacle left in our path is the government. She and I will have to try to convince the judge to dismiss the charge against me. However since part of a punishment for a crime is a payment to the state, i have my doubts about getting a dismissal. All of these things I am enduring because I pushed her away after punching me. The most ironic thing is that but for the government agencies, we would have worked things out after a day or so.
Oh, and one other thing. At the hospital, all the women social workers told me that she should leave me, that if she let me back she would end up dead. They made it sound like a certainty.
I suppose you know by now that you probably won't get your gun back even if you aren't convicted of anything. If you do get it back, it won't be anytime soon. I hope it's stainless, because most of the blue steel guns I've seen stored in police evidence rooms have come out rusted by improper storage and neglect. And if you are unfortunate enough to be convicted of even a misdemeamor domestic violence charge, under the Lautenburg Amendment you won't be able to legally buy or possess another firearm as long as you live. (Notice I said legally)
In light of your experience, it doesn't seem totally impossible for my little fictional scenario in #15 to become reality. And maybe sooner than 2045.