Your point two, if I am not mistaken, accurately parses out not so much three categories as three overlapping circles in a ven diagram—
Proverbs 31 incorporates the ideal, the boss woman shares a good deal of the Proverbs 31 traits, particularly those valued by the economic/educational side of society, and the John 4 woman, who is much easier to co-exist with than the boss woman, but won’t challenge one to grow the way the Proverbs 31 woman will, and may eventually move on.
Unfortunately, Proverbs 31 women are scarce, as FarRockaway2 points out. Given that we are pretty well all fallen, even those that are mostly Proverbs 31 have flaws, and those with fairly few flaws are going to go like hotcakes, for the most part.
That said, I teach at a Catholic College which traditionally has a male/female imbalance, further exacerbated by over 10% of the men opting to pursue seminary for at least a time, and there are some Proverbs 31 women I am aware of—but I think that I know a very outsized number of them, as our College cultivates the Proverbs 31, while most (even Catholic) destroy them.
The Wife of Noble Character
10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%2031&version=NIV
*2a. Actually, the unrepentant John 4 woman, is nearly impossible to have a long term pair bonding with.
*2b. The repentant, receptive John 4 woman there is more hope for, as the Christ becomes the center focus of her Life, however, there is still #1 above that the man must be fully prepared for in Western women. Trust becomes paramount.
*2c. With the “boss girl”, she may become so overbearing that the man must make concessions, or face #1 above. If he does, he may lose his masculine appeal to her, and once again, still face #1 above.
The Proverbs 31 true woman however, always has his back, always can be counted on to support his goals and aspirations. Her dedication is not for what he has, but who he IS. (vs. Job’s wife “curse God and die”)