I think one of the problems is with that many women are in the lover-provider dichotomy when it comes to men.
She dates the lovers and marries the providers. Many providers are inhibited, because they were often punished or heavily rejected when they were building their lives. Consequently, they aren’t the most aggressive men.
It makes me wonder if these married woman are just wishing they had a more amorous husband?
Just a thought.
You juzt described hypergamy and the female mating process.