U.S. Constitution
Article 1. The Congress shall construct a thermostat to control the temperature of planet earth.
Article 2. Every hour, the Congress shall adjust that thermostat.
Article 3. The Congress shall set the maximum level of the oceans.
Article 4. The Congress shall set the miles per Kilowatt.
Article 5. The Congress shall set the rotational speed of the planet earth.
Article 6. The Congress shall set the size of The Ozone Hole.
Article 7 The Congress shall have the power to maintain the temperature by jailing MAGA supporters.