My ex ordered me to see a shrink to save our relationship so I did. After 45 minutes I walked out of his office and thought ‘this guy is more too-koo than I am!
I think counseling (& maybe psychiatry) attracts people who already have “issues.” If the counselor is an emotional mess, they’re not likely to help anyone.
interesting similar experience with a different outcome. wife at the time demanded I needed counseling so looked up a shrink who was surprisingly balanced and different than I had expected. went for two months and the guy actually helped me realize and accept that I wasn’t the root problem in the marriage and i couldn’t “fix” her. he flat out told me that I shouldn’t be surprised when I change and she doesn’t. he was right. I did...she didn’t. very HAPPILY remarried and all of the stuff my ex always blamed on me doesn’t exist anymore. signed:never stay in a relationship past its expiration date.
My ex-wife wanted the same thing. Like you, I obliged, only on the condition that we both go: at least once together and each of us at least once separately. The psych lady told us that my ex is the one with the problems. All of a sudden my ex came to the conclusion that seeing psychologists is a bad idea. LOL
Obviously my judgment is excellent:
When I was 18, I was suicidal. I went to a shrink. My mother was apoplectic with horror and embarrassment. So was everyone she knew.
I didn't give a damn. Screw 'em all! I knew what was best. Maybe I'm just smart.
I stayed the course.
He was a wonderful, wise man. He wanted to help me. He did. He told me to get a job after school to pay him. I did. He turned me around completely. It was one of the wisest decisions I ever made. I will always revere this man.
Tomorrow I will be 85 years old. I have been married to the same fabulous woman for 64 years, have two wonderful children and four wonderful grandchildren. I made enough money to retire at age 53. I lived in wealth and plenty ever since, travelled the world, speak 3 languages, studied and learned continuously--have the life I wish everyone could have!
And one of the smartest decisions I ever made was going to a psychiatrist, figuring out what a wise man he was, and placing my trust in him.