I wouldn’t trust myself if I were in the same room with her. I would want to call her just what she is.
No, don’t be ugly if you encounter her. Better to ask her questions about green tea, and what she thinks is the most authentic local Chinese buffet. Ask if in China they name their kids right away, or if they wait a few years to see if they make it.
Ask if she saw the Sand Pebbles movie and if she thinks it looks real. Ask her about Bruce Lee and whether or not he was murdered.
Use the term Oriental as often as it fits.
And most important of all, make sure you sound very innocent, like you really wanna know. People love sincerity, when you learn to fake that, you’ve got it made.