I'm getting the same evasive response from PayPal that you have experienced. I used PayPal for only one transaction in the past and removed a credit card associated with my PayPal account long ago.
On three separate occasions, over a period of a few months this year, I have contacted PayPal Customer Support to close my account because my online request reports a problem. Each time they claim there is no issue with my account and that the problem is with their system that will be investigated. They promise to promptly close the account and notify me when the system problem is resolved. I never hear from them again and the account remains open. I don’t believe PayPal is being honest with account owners. I suspect it's a ruse to avoid closing existing accounts.
Contact the offices of your US Representative, your two US Senators, and your State Attorney General, regardless of their party affiliation.