It's really none of your business.
You're a foreigner.
You FLED the United States.
A deserter basically.
I am quite certain that you booze-induced rant is sufficient provocation to warrant a few obscenities that would not concern the mods. But I prefer to run rings around you instead.
I’m so sorry you miss me so. I didn’t know my services as a bookworm with a bad back and a paunch were indispensable for holding the line. Should I move in next door to you and bring a few dozen of my fellow ex-pat American Jooos! with me? I do need a minyan (quorum of ten adult males for daily prayers). You can attend our BBQ, although we don’t serve pork and the kosher beef and chicken are a bit on the salty side. I promise never to desert you again, and to learn how to speak Texan.