It’s possible that I might be a coward, sure.
However, I’m measuring it in terms of cost. Being dragged off to Russia, to be slowly pulled through a wood chipper, is not worth the price of bravery if the battle is lost and you are going to be captured and you are going to be dragged through a wood chipper slowly.
However, you do you.
So you are not competent/capable enough to pull the trigger but willing to have someone else do it?
Dang! You REALLY should not be anywhere near service.
While of course there are innumerable gruesome tortures and deaths possible, your imagination may be running away. In any case why not just fight to the end?