But in all cases, the only workable code is to dress as your employer asks you to dress for work, or find a gig that meets your all-important style requirements.
Psycho.
You just described our local Apple store. And Best Buy. And Starbucks.
They have an informal competition to see who can look the most bizarre, then when you look at them, it's like "...WHAT'RE YOU LOOKIN' AT....!!!!